Friday, November 30, 2007

Do it anyway.


*edit: I apologize for the american idol clip, kinda takes away from the song;P it was the first clip I found that had embedding code enabled. I will search for a better clip later tonight, after my crazy weekend day.

As I was driving to pick up my son from youth group tonight, this song came on the radio and it moved me to tears. I have been following a girlfriend's journey through grief on her blog, My Resurfacing. On Halloween, her long awaited baby boy, Callum, died in her womb at 34 weeks. There are just no words to express that kind of grief and how my heart aches for her. She is doing an amazing job of recording her journey and dealing with each emotion in her beautiful writing.
As I have read her story, it has brought my own grief at having had a stillborn baby girl, five years ago, to the surface as well. It is good to be able to see where I am now, and where I was then. And this song just struck me as being so fitting. Even though our babies died, there is no way we would go back and choose to not have borne them. We loved them as they grew in our bellies, and I would not choose to give back a moment of that. I still wish with all my heart that I had been allowed to hold her living in my arms, that I had been able to watch her grow and learn and love these past 5 years. But I am so thankful that I had a chance to carry her and love her if even for a few short months.
I have wasted a lot of time in my life putting things off, because I was so afraid of failure. Afraid of looking foolish. I did not get my driver's license until this spring for just those reasons. And you know what? I did fail the first time. And so I did it again. And it has changed my life in so many ways. Way more than the obvious reasons of being independent and getting around. It taught me that I need to try, to take chances, to put myself out there. And if I fail? Well so what? At least I got to live in the meantime.
That sense of overcoming a fear was part of why I chose to do Nanowrimo last month. I wanted to set a goal and accomplish it, just for the sheer joy of that. And if I didn't make it? Well, I would not have wanted to miss the personal journey my writing took me on, for the world. I learned so much about myself.
God did not put us on this earth to hide our light, as the old Sunday School song said. He wants us to be a shining light in a dark world. If we stumble, if we look foolish, if we are hurt, if we out and out fail? Then we try again. I promise that if you take a chance, build a life, chase a dream, choose to love someone or create a life, that no matter what the outcome, you will be so much better off than if you never tried at all.
God never promised us a perfect, happy life. We live in a world full of bad things as well as good. I sure don't know why bad things happen. But I promise that God is ultimately in control and he hears our prayers even when He doesn't answer us the way we would like. He is there with His great big arms to wrap us up and hold us like children. That image, and the thought that He holds my baby girl in His arms each day, are what get me through when the darkness seems to be closing in around me. I curl up in my God's ample arms and trust that he will see me through just as he always has. I need his strength, because my own is often not enough to get me through the day to day never mind the loss of a child. His love and his strength are always enough.
Anyway by Martina McBride
You can spend your whole life building
something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream
that seems so out of reach
and you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
Chorus: God is great,
but sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
it doesn’t always turn out
like I think it should
But I do it anyway,
I do it anyway
This world’s gone crazy
and it’s hard to believe
that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone
with all your heart,
for all the right reasons,
and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love ‘em anyway
Repeat Chorus
You can pour your soul out
singing a song you believe in
that tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway,
sing it anyway
I sing, I dream, I love, anyway

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Officially a Novelist!

I did it! I wrote a novel! I am officially a novelist! 50000 words in less than 30 days! Crazy, but I did it!
Wow, I am so sick of typing, this is gonna be a terribly short post.
I did it!
And I certainly could not have done it without the support of all my blogging friends. I am sure that without you to keep me accountable, I would have given up long ago. It was much harder than I thought to stay disciplined and keep writing, when all I wanted to do was read blogs or watch a movie or just about anything but write.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You are amazing women and I am so excited that you are a part of my life! Thanks for all the encouragement. I can't tell you how my heart soared reading your 'Go Go Go's'
Someday, I may even let you read my novel. I will try to at least post an excerpt tomorrow. I hope it isn't total carp!
Okay, I am going to stop writing now considering how free I am being with the exclamation points, I don't think anything good can come of continuing right now.
Hugs!
Yay me!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Noveling... again

Incredibly I am managing to wrap up my novel. Only 3000 words to go and I think that there are just enough for me to tie up the loose ends of my plot. In January when I start editing, I will have lots of scenes to fill in and add, but the bones of my book are there. So exciting!
My back is seizing up again, so I am off to bed, I will finish up tomorrow I guess. Nothing like leaving it to the last moments. Actually I am sure I would have been finished now, if it were not for the incredibly, indescribably trying day I have had as a mother. But that is a whole other story.
Thanks again for all the encouragements!
Anyone ever feel like sending their children away to boarding school? Even just for a week? ugh.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Boring book

ugh. Do you think it is bad to be so bored of your own novel that you can barely finish writing it? I think it must be. If I can't stand to keep writing it, I am sure there is no one out there who will want to read it straight through. ick.
Of course I am not writing it for anyone 'out there'. I am writing for the girl inside here. (pointing at my heart) I am writing this novel for me, simply to be able to say that I did it. Does it really matter if it is readable? No, what matters for me is that I set a goal and that I meet it. And honestly, who after writing for 27 days straight would not be a bit tired of it? I am so anxious to be done writing this story. I want to scrapbook again. I want to write something in my blog that is slightly more entertaining than the drivel of the past couple weeks. I want to organize my house and get ready for Christmas. I want to shop! I want to read as many blogs as I like and not feel guilty for neglecting my novel, and then make tons of comments!
I just want to be done. I am almost at 43000 words now. I would like to crank out a couple thousand more tonight, maybe I should go to bed early and write tomorrow? There are only a very few tomorrows left. That scares me a bit.
My non noveling life continues in my novel's shadow. Today was filled with much running around. We had our fall meeting with our home education facilitator this morning, so I had made 2 pans of brownies last night (my grandmother's recipe, with added Bernard Callebaut white chocolate chunks). Yummy! Our facilitator is so encouraging and helpful, it is always nice to see him. I find him very affirming to what we are trying to do with our children, I really appreciate that he shares our faith as well, because it gives him more understanding to what is most important to us.
This afternoon we went to our homeschooling friends, bi-weekly get together. Great conversations, more brownies, perfect afternoon. Then home to say goodbye to Daddy, off to taekwondo and then the hockey practice that wasn't. Our ice slot was double booked, and our coach never showed up. Mass confusion and annoyance was shared by all. I have to admit to not minding too much, I got to go home and put my kids to bed and try to work on my novel. My flippin' boring novel.
Okay, I guess I should get back at it. The sooner I finish, the sooner I can move on to other things. (6500 words to go people!)

Win some free stuff!

Check out the following blogs for a chance to win some cool free stuff!

Sarcastic mom is showing off her rack, er, um, I mean her t-shirts!

Teeny Manolo and books books books!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Nanowrimo countdown

Hello bloggers! I am at 4000 words today already, I ran around all day with dh, writing as he ran into places to do his errands. I am going to spend the whole evening writing, so I won't be blogging or blog reading.
Thank you for all your encouragement and interest. I am going get this done and then I will be back to tell you all about it and catch up with you.
Thank you!
10000 words til THE END!!!!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Weekend is done.

Well, my back feels so much better. I guess I needed to take some time to relax and especially time away from my laptop! We had a great time at the silent auction last night. My mom and her boyfriend ended up staying last night because of the freezing rain, so they came with us to the pub. Some of dh's relatives came with us as well. We had a ton of laughs, some drinks and yummy pub food. The kitchen was so backed up it took at least an hour if not longer to get any of our food, we felt bad for the servers because they were taking all the flak. Our server bought us a round of drinks and even comped some of our food. She was terribly sweet and told us we were her favourite table, because we were so understanding. We left her a huge tip, of course:)
My dh went a little overboard on the bidding. He won 3 sets of NHL tickets, so we are all going to go to some hockey games in the next month or so. Should be a blast, hockey is the one sport that I really enjoy watching. Helps that my children play every weekend!
I am feeling kind of stressed about my novel. I have almost 14000 words to go and only 5 more days. I have a feeling that all the housework I did this week will have been a complete wash by the end of this week. I am going to have to put in some major hours if I am going to finish my book in time.
I just want to say thanks for all the love and support I am receiving from my blog friends. I so enjoy reading about your lives and hearing from you. Thank you. I can't wait to be done this novel writing thing, so I have more time for blog reading;)

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Saturday Morning

Mmm. My back feels slightly better this morning. My mom is here and she rubbed it for me last night and I had a couple glasses of wine (Grey Monk's Latitude 50, yum!) so that let the muscles unbind a bit. My neck is still stiff and I am pretty hunched up, but the degree of pain is lessened! I have to admit to loving being taken care of by my Mommy sometimes. So wonderful.
I am sitting here in the dark, I got up and ready to go to my son's hockey game, Dh drove him and I was to bring everyone else. But no one else got up. Mom is still snoring:) The kids are all still sawing logs. Even my little Monkey Boy, who is usually up by 6. So I am just enjoying the peace and the darkness. I just put on the coffee, looking forward to that first cup where I wrap my cool hands around the warm mug and let the moist aroma wash over my face as I inhale deeply and take that first lip scalding sip.
Oh. I hear movement. My mom's boyfriend is getting up. Oh! There is my girly, singing in bed. So much for the quiet, I was hoping to get some writing in this morning. Oh well, it was heavenly while it lasted.
Off to change bottoms and make breakfast and then a day of shopping and hockey and housework. Fun! I am hoping to get a new outfit today for my son's team's silent auction tonight. I haven't shopped at all this fall! (I keep hoping to go down a size or 2, so I haven't bought new clothes. -So not happening.)
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and find a few moments of solitude and peace. We mommy's need those little sanity keeping pockets of time.
Gotta run, the coffee is done, and Girly is getting LOUD.

Friday, November 23, 2007

So I managed to put out my back and neck with all this writing. Oops.
So I won't be on the computer at all in the next few days except for novelling.
I will miss you all and will talk to you soon:)
My girlfriend, Speilmom had some interesting questions on her blog today relating to community.
It really made me think and I practically wrote a whole post in her comments. I am pasting it here because I would love to hear from you and your thoughts.
Gosh. Your questions about community are ones I have been asking myself lately. And that I have been exploring a bit with my MC in my novel.Does anyone truly know me? Why not? How can I possibly trust someone that much?One thing that came to me was the importance of spiritual mentors, someone you can trust implicitly, who has earned this trust through their guidance and involvement in your life. Someone to pray with and share with. I really don't see a lot of this happening in the Church these days. At least in my experience. Partly because for many of us, community doesn't really exist. If we had a close knit community, there would be women (or men for men) who would watch us grow up and whom we could look up to and maybe we would naturally develop these types of relationships. I know when my Mom became a Christian, it was because of ladies like this, who took an interest in a young mom, shared with her and supported her and then discipled her into relationship with Christ. I had women like that in my life as a teen, but when I grew up and moved away I lost than lifeline. I started attending much larger congregations where it was much easier to follow my natural inclination to get lost in the crowd. Keep my anonyminity. I think that maybe we have lost something very important that we need to find and cultivate, especially with the young people coming up. I think they are our responsibility in some way. And because I think I would like to be truly known. Truly known and loved anyways. That is the love of Christ.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

I should...

I should totally be blogging or writing right now. Or at least doing some blog visiting and commenting (I apologize for getting behind).
But instead I am going to finish watching Casino Royal, drool over Daniel Craig, and eat some popcorn.
I did spend some time on my novel today, developing my antagonist. I realised that he was being sorely ignored, so I beefed him up a bit today. It was fun! He is really more selfish than bad I think. We'll see, he may turn out to be truly evil, we have 17000 words left to find out.
Off to drool...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just want to wish my American friends a Happy Thanksgiving.
Enjoy the food, family and fellowship of the holiday.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

My Cwazy Girl.

I just want to say that I so appreciate the encouragement I have been receiving from you fellow bloggers in regards to the novel thing. You guys rock! I am pushing on, slowly but surely.

So tonight I am tucking my Girly into bed and she reaches under her pillow and pulls out a piece of waffle and takes a bite. I am in such shock that I just watch her as she then stuffs it back under her pillow and lays back down.
A WAFFLE! Under her pillow! Where did this come from? And why did she think it was a good idea to keep food under her pillow?! I guess she grabbed it on her way through the kitchen up to her room, when we came in from her brother's hockey game at 10pm. So late!
Two of dh's brother's, and one brother's girlfriend came to the game and it was a blast. They are loud and fun and kept the kids wound up for 2 hours. My kids were just crazy and my Girly kept taking off her clothes. In the arena.
anyway. Now they are tucked in bed! phew.
Last night, my Dad was here overnight. My Girly did not have a nap yesterday, so by bedtime she was pretty crazed. At one point she was running in circles around the living room, screaming in her monster voice, "YOU looking at ME?! You looking at ME?!" Over and over, we were almost peeing our pants laughing so hard.
That girl needs regular sleep and meals/snacks. Otherwise she is 'out of contwowl,' as she likes to say.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Wow, I have so over-scheduled myself this week. I, of course didn't find any writing time on the weekend, I never do. I didn't write yesterday because I was out at the Rec centre with the kids and some other homeschoolers, and then I folded laundry and organized some toys in my family room til 1 am. My mountains of laundry that had piled on my couch are finally folded and put away! But I am way behind on my writing.

I got busy on my housework at 8 am again, because my girlfriend was bringing her kids over at 10. I watched them while she went for a hair appointment. The kids had a blast with their friends and as bonus I got to visit with my girlfriend for a few hours afterward. Then I prepped dinner and took the boys to taekwondo. My dad is spending the night tonight on his way home from work, so I am looking forward to visiting with him tonight. But that also means no writing. Tomorrow is scheduled from 9 am til 10pm! Before I know it I will be a week behind and the month is almost over and I am starting to freak out a little!
I am rediscovering the need for balance in my life, there are a lot of demands on my time. I have four kids with various activities. I am responsible for providing them with an education, pretty much solely responsible. My dh has been working out of town for the entire month. On the few days he has been home, he really wants and deserves my attention. So no writing. I have a house to keep clean and organized and food to buy and prepare. I am really feeling the time crunch that all moms feel, that there are never enough hours in the day. Spending an hour or two a day writing didn't seem like a huge deal at first, but it has become very difficult. Yesterday and today I avoided it by plunging into my housework that has been building up. And I feel a bit better, I even took the time to write tonight. I just got in today's word count, but it is a million times better than falling behind another day.
Finishing this novel is important to me, even just for the satisfaction of meeting a goal. I am going to take the time to do it. This weekend will be very difficult to take time out to write. My dh will be home, and we just want to spend time together. He hates me having my attention glued to the computer. But I think he will be understanding and give me the hours I need to catch up, maybe I can get ahead and actually finish on time!
How do you find balance in your life? How do you find time to do things that you love, while keeping up with family and home and career?

Monday, November 19, 2007

THIRTEEN! The photographic evidence.

Pictures from yesterday, see this post for all the details:)
Paster T's first baptism, my boy telling the world about his faith.

Grandma and B. The Boy and Auntie M and C.
Grandpa D and the Boy

The Boy figuring out chopsticks while Gramps laughs.
The Monkey Boy kisses the birthday boy.
Uncle D and B.
B. showing off how tall he is next to Auntie H.


Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Boy becomes a TEENAGER!

My oldest baby boy turned 13 today! And at church this morning he was baptized, following in the footsteps of his Lord Jesus Christ, telling the world that he is a Christian and wants to serve God with his whole heart.
I spent the entire day in tears. Literally sobbing from the time I awoke til now. I didn't think watching my son officially leave childhood would be quite so hard. I am just so enormously proud of him, so in awe of the young man he has become. If you knew him, you couldn't help but love him, his enormous heart just bursts forth from his every pore. Through his every word and deed.
13 years ago, I was a very scared but excited, 19 year old girl. Praying that her baby would be born healthy and strong and SOON! After 3 days of inductions, I just wanted to meet him (read: O. U. T. OUT. Out of my body.!) I honestly was not that afraid of whether or not I would be a good Mom, I was too naive to really even question it. I went through those early years on Love and instinct and gut feelings. (and a ton of Prayers) I of course read everything I could, and followed the examples I had been given. And I made tons of mistakes, still do.
But in spite of me, he has turned out pretty darn amazing. He is everything a mother hopes her son will be, and immeasurably more than I could have imagined. He is the most compassionate person I have ever met. He is naturally helpful and kind and friendly and loyal. He is flippin' brilliant. And he is the toughest, tender-hearted person I know. (well, other than his Dad) He adores everything about hockey and is passionate about taekwondo. Science and nature top his list of 'things he can never learn enough about'. He always has his nose in a book, literally. (Just like his Mom) His imagination has never stopped astounding us since he learned to talk, and I can't wait to read the novel he is writing this month.
He loves God with his whole heart and His presence in B's life is evident in all he does. He truly serves God.
I could gush for hours and hours, I love my boy so much and as hard as it is to leave his boyhood behind (thankfully not entirely, he is still, thankfully, very innocent in many ways) I am truly looking forward to watching him grow into a man of God.

We had a wonderful day. Dh's extended family all came to church with us in the morning for the Baptism and then we all went for lunch together. B's choice was an all-you-can-eat buffet, something we hadn't done since he was a baby, it was actually really nice. Wonderful food, great service, and perfect for taking a large group that included seniors and preschoolers. It was so special for us that they all came and shared the day with us. Other than DH's Mom and stepdad, the rest of them are not church-goers, and the few that have any church background were either Ukrainian orthodox or Catholic. I imagine our church was a bit of culture shock, but they were all pleasantly surprised by the friendly, accepting atmosphere.
I amazingly made it through this post without any more tears. My heart is just so full of love and wonder in the child God gave me.

K, I was trying to post the pics, but blogger won't let me, so maybe I will scrapbook them and show you the pages:)

Saturday, November 17, 2007

PB & J

Jam ate Peanut Butter and
Peanut butter ate Jam.
Jam wasn't hungry but
Peanut Butter was.
Jam ran away.

Jam ate Peanut Butter and
Peanut Butter ate Jam.
Jam was hungry but
Peanut Butter wasn't.
Jam ate Peanut Butter.

A poem composed by my 3 year old at 6 am and repeated in my ear 12 times after 2 hours of sleep. Cute!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Crashes and Eruptions

So last weekend my dh parked my van out front for one night. I usually park in back - either in the garage or on the driveway, but he had his big truck on one side and the refuse bin for our renos on the other side. I went out in the morning to load the kids in the van for church only to find a bunch of broken glass on the ground beside my door. Someone had hit my mirror with theirs, I guess, as they drove by. I live in a quiet little cul-de-sac. Everyone knows everyone. And no one even left a note of apology or anything. I was sad, but dh was pi$$ed.
So I took my van in this morning to have a new windshield put in as well as the mirror replaced. I never realized how much I use my mirrors til now!
They had quoted us a price on the mirror and told us they would have it in for today. When I arrived, the very charming glass guy tells me that the manufacturer no longer makes that particular mirror. So, while I have a lovely new windshield, I still don't have a driver's side mirror. And I am still only parking where I don't have to back up!
But glass guy did charm me into buying the windshield warranty that allows me to get my next windshield for only $60 instead of $200. As he pointed out, it didn't cost me extra because it was the same price as they were gonna charge me for the mirror. Hmm.

OH! My poor little girly. I was just telling her Daddy that she was kinda making me crazy the last few days. Tonight I was trying to get her ready for bed and she was completely freaking out. She wouldn't let me put on her diaper or anything. Finally I had her locked in my arms fighting her into her jammies and I happened to look down at her wide open, screaming mouth and I saw a suspicious spec of white, actually a few of them. Her 2 year molars are coming through. So I wrapped her up in my arms and asked her if her mouth hurt. 'MMMHMM,' she sobbed. So I asked her if she wanted some medicine and gave her some big cuddles and Tylenol, and then she was fine. She just needed some understanding and some mommy loves. Instead of Mommy, frustrated, 'stop it!', 'lay still' -ness.

ps. I am right on target with my word count, 26740 words to be exact. Not really ahead of the game like I would like to be. But on target! Thanks for all the support guys!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Mountains and molehills

Well I decided to get caught up on some housework today. I must have folded laundry for three hours and I am only maybe half done. You see, we make so much laundry at this point, that I need to do at least 3 loads a day. But I do not have time to fold it, at least that is not my time priority. So I bring it up out of the dryer and lay in out over the backs of the couches in the family room, thinking I will fold it when the next load comes out and I have a few minutes. And then I do it again. And again. And eventually what I have is a huge mountain of laundry waiting to be folded and who really has time to fold a mountain of laundry.
This method worked well when I used to watch tv. I would turn on my favourite shows after the kids went to bed and I would get my laundry from that day folded within the first show. Well this year I started spending way more time on the computer and far less time watching tv. Until it soon became my habit not to watch tv at all. Not a bad thing, I guess. I will go to bed early with a book, or stay up late reading blogs. But what I am not doing is folding laundry.
So today I did. Some of it even got put away! My 3 year old loves to help and he put all his own laundry away, yippee!
The only problem with him having drawers full of clean laundry is that he seemed to take that as meaning he had to wear every outfit in his drawers. Now he knows I would rather him keep the same outfit on all day if it is clean. So how did he justify 7 different pairs of pants today? I will tell you. He kept wetting his pants. And then running up to his room to change. And then saying, "I'm sowwy Mom," in the most pitiful little voice you ever heard. Aye!
What is with the apology thing anyway? He has been apologizing to me constantly, every time he does anything that could remotely be construed as wrong. My heart churns every time he does it.
He is very soft-hearted and sensitive, so I am very careful with how I speak to him and discipline. I have to use a quiet, even voice, and be extremely logical and reasonable. I can not raise my voice to him at all because it totally crushes his little heart. I am so careful not to, but he is still dancing around me like he thinks I am going to come down on him for something. I hate it! I feel like an ogre:) Lot's of times he is apologizing for things that I don't even get upset about, or think deserve any discipline at all. Like spilling something. If they spill I say that it is okay, why don't you help mommy clean it up. Or if he steps on my toe. I might yelp a little ouch, but then he over-apologizes, and I have to tell him I am fine, it is not a big deal, don't worry, stop apologizing.
Anyway, it is bothering me. I don't want him to do this, and I want to know why he is doing it. All the children are acting a little off with Daddy being away. Maybe it is just that. Or maybe I am still apologizing too much. Or maybe I did something that scared him, like yelling at his brothers. I don't know. Has anyone else dealt with an over apologizing child?

Oh! I got an awesome meme today from Don Mills Diva, so look for that later. Maybe on the weekend.
And, I am still not at 25000, I am just under 24 000, but I think I am going to bed. Too many late nights for the mama, it is stunting my growth. I will write tomorrow. And I will visit some of your blogs tomorrow hopefully, please forgive me for not getting to it tonight. I so tired.
adieu

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Rock stars and Pee

I put some new hand-me-down jammies on my girly last night and the shirt has a kangaroo pocket. She had to put stuff in the pocket. Had to. She found a harmonica and some Euros that Nana had given the kids. So I had to empty her pocket before I put her to bed, didn't really want to leave her with choking hazards in her bed.
Well this morning when I went in to get her out of her crib, she had her hands in her pocket. Kinda cute. Then she pulled out the harmonica! She puts it to her lips, blows in and out, then says, "It a rock song!" Some more music, a little singing and then she says,"It a rock star song!"
She was a rock star all day, except when she was a 'rina. By the way she now corrects me when I say ballerina, with 'rina 'rina. Apparently me copying her occasionally, because she is too darn cute, kind of backfired.

Today I accomplished nothing. Nothing. My kids had pancakes for supper. My laundry is still not done being folded.
Speaking of which, my lovely toddler boy sat in a chair on which some folded bedding sat (mostly because my linen closet is much too small! and I am lazy about putting away.)
anyway. He sat on my clean laundry and played computer games and wet himself. On my clean laundry. argh.
Speaking of which, my wonderful 3 year old boy (the same one) didn't come to cuddle with me last night until just after 6am. Yay! He then proceeded to fall fast asleep and pee. In my bed. On my new featherbed. And my beautiful new bedding. argh.

Now I need to go finish my writing for today. I have a feeling my heroine's child will wet the bed, seems like the day for it.
By the end of tomorrow I need 25000 words, I shall meet that goal I think!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Nablopomo about Nanowrimo

Okay, I am only blogging because I have to:)
I just reached 20025 words, which is where I was supposed to be yesterday. So 4000 words for me today! Wow! I squeezed in about 45 minutes this morning and then another 45 while the boys were in taekwondo. I grabbed a latte and sat in the van and typed away while the babies watched Diego. Then after I put my boys to bed tonight I sat down and cranked out another 2000 words. Yippee!
So I am now only 1 day behind, easy to make up!
My boys got lots of writing in today as well, so we took a break this afternoon to go to the leisure centre and swim. Oh, and I think I have arranged a group of us homeschoolers to go and swim/gym there on a semi-regular basis. I even nailed down a date! Yipee!
Now I am tired, I am going to bed. Maybe after I go and read a few of my fave blogs.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Weekend expectations.

Well after a four day long weekend because dh got home Thursday night, I feel a bit behind. We, of course had a huge to do list for the weekend, he had grandiose plans of all he would get done on the kitchen reno and I had chores, planning, shopping and writing to do. Not a lot of check marks on the to do list. But we did just hang out as a family, gorging on togetherness. So I think it was a pretty successful weekend.
Dh and I talked for hours, we had both missed that. The kids played sports, played with each other, played with friends and played with us. Grandma came for a meal, which was pretty wonderful because we haven't seen her in a week and a bit. It was just a nice time and contrary to my usual disposition, I do not feel much disappointment at the things that did not get done. Not even missing the sale at Gymboree.
One huge thing, my Monkey boy spent the whole weekend sleeping in his own bed for the whole night. This morning he did not even come and cuddle for a few moments. And guess what? I missed him. I missed his tiny, warm little self in my arms in the middle of the night. I especially missed his 'Good morning, Mommy' kisses and hugs. I am one Silly Mommy. Both nights I awakened at around 4 am and lay there in the dark unable to find sleep again. I was still pretty out of it and it took til morning to figure out why I had woken up. Because I NEVER sleep past then! Because he is usually crawling into my bed by then, I guess I had gotten pretty used to it.
But I will not look a gift horse in the mouth, nor ignore a blessing from God! He slept through the night again! Woohoo! Thanks God!
Well dh and I are spending the evening catching up a bit on our chores. While I work on my novel, he is hanging drywall. Yay husband! I am up to 16000 words now, but I am supposed to have passed 20000 today. So I am a bit behind. I will be playing catch-up on my word count all week. So please forgive me if I don't do much blog reading or commenting this week. I will try to post a little blurb here each day to keep up with Nablopomo, but I don't expect to do much surfing this week. I will try to read my blog reader once or twice and I promise to visit you and comment next week:)
Time to fit in a couple hundred more words and then I think we are going to plug in a movie or something.
By the way, leftover chocolate fondue is yummy as fudge the next day. What?! I needed fuel for novel writing. Yummy.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Remembrance Day

Thank you. You live in our hearts and memories.

Canada Remembers

Candian Forces

Family Fun Night

It has been a very long time since we did a family games night. Far too long.
So tonight we fired up the chocolate fondue with the kids and then indulged in a rousing game of High School Musical 2! Now dh and I have never watched either movie, so we couldn't fully appreciate the beauty of the game, but the kids LOVE it! We had far more fun than we expected:)


Our First Family Fondue!











My Monkey boy thinks it is pretty yummy.























My Girly bathed in chocolate!























Two handing chocolate is not enough, lend me a hand Dad!























The Robot. Dh wanted me to cut him out because apparently his head looked huge. vanity I tell you!























Tap Dancing.























My wonderful son killing himself laughing at Mom tap dancing. He seriously laughed for 5 minutes. Nice.

























Now we just need to watch the movies, the kids highly recommend them!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Saturday Family fun

Dh is home for the weekend! Yay!
Daddy and I have a conversation with our little, 2 year old girl.
Mom and Dad sitting at table with our girly and talking to each other.
Girly: I have an A, I have an A, I have an A
Daddy: Yes your name does start with A
Girly: I have an A, I have an A, I have an A
Mommy: yes you do have and A, A_____ does start with A
Repeat 6 or 7 times while crawling on Daddy.

Girly, looking very serious with head tilted to one side and brow furrowed while sitting on table looking at us: People does know my name.
Daddy restraining his laughter: Yes honey some people do know your name.
Girly: People know my name.
Mommy: Yes, Girly people do know your name.
Girly: People does know my name.
Daddy: What people know your name?
Girly looks very thoughtful with very furrowed brow and shrugged shoulders: Um, people.
Daddy: Do people at church know your name
Girly: yes
Daddy: Do people at hockey know your name?
Girly: Yes, People know my name.
Mommy: Does it bother you that people know your name, when you don't know who they are?
Girly: Um. (she looks away shyly and then cocks her head back at us) Akchuyee (actually) yes.
Both parents giggling now.
This went on for quite some time, at one point I said to her, "and are you kind of a big deal?"
Girly: Yep, I kinna big deal.
I eventually had her saying, "People know my name, I kinna big deal."
So flippin cute!
I am continually amazed at the children God has blessed me with. They are such wonderful individuals, each so different from the next, but each one filled with kindness, generosity, intelligence, compassion, and a great love for God and their family. What more could a mother ask for. Other than a housekeeper maybe.
Oh! We sing to the kids or with the kids every night when we put them to bed. Lately the little ones have been asking for an old Sunday School action song, called the fruit song.
You do the action for each fruit in the song, it ends, '---that's the raisin (shrivel like a raisin)why.... I just go banana's (make a banana with your arms over your head) 'bout my Lord!
Well there is a little shabby chic chandelier in the middle of the nursery, and I stand between their beds as I sing. More than once I have enthusiastically lifted my arms to make a banana and hit the chandelier with my hand, pulled it down and yelped, "OW!"
So the other night, Girly and the Monkey boy are singing away, doing the actions and we sing, 'I just go bananas bout my Lord!' and Girly continues by grabbing one hand with the other and yelling, "OW!"
So much fun!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Novel Update

It is almost 1, but I just finished working on my novel for the day. 13500 words is where I am at now, right on target! I did want to get extra words in each day so that I didn't have to work on it on the weekends, but I am finding writing time harder and harder to come by.
For those of you who have asked what I am writing about, it is pretty simple.
I am writing a contemporary story of a 3o something mom, her inner conflicts; her life; her marital struggles and triumphs; and I meant to throw in a murder mystery as well (um that was to be the main plot) My characters have kind of taken over the story and so far no one has died. I do have hope of a grisly murder yet, I guess we will have to wait and see.
When I spoke of the one word that my husband gave me the other day that gave all my plots lines new life and connected them in a way that was perfect, well the word was the name of an illness.
I was whining that my characters had gone off on all these tangents, right from day one. Tangents that I didn't have any desire to pursue. Like one of the MC's children being ill. I so did not want to write a book about a sick child, way to sad and hard and...
Anywayssss. I was saying this to my dh and he said, "What about _____." And I thought for a second and then I jumped up and said, "YESSSSSS! Perfect!" Fairly straightforward illness, scary, deadly, but if treated quickly has a quick recovery. So I didn't have to walk my characters through months of chemo and waiting for results etc. And it gave me the perfect introduction for my semi-antagonist and my murder victim. If the victim ever gets around to dying.
So thank you dh! Without that one little word, I think I would have had to stop writing right then and there.
And... he also made me aware of a situation in the pub a couple weeks ago that became the scene in my novel where the MC and her future dh meet. My dh was laughing at me scribbling away on a napkin and watching these people instead of paying attention to the exciting hockey game on the big screen.
I am a huge people watcher. Dh said he wasn't going to take me to any more football games because I didn't pay any attention to the field, I was too busy spectating the spectators. What? I cheered and jeered at all the appropriate places. I even did the wave and sang the fight song.
But people are so interesting. Watching those around you interact is wonderful inspiration for writing. Plus, everything they do and say is copyright free material!
So I think my novel is going well. And I am becoming an expert at procrastination. I think I made 4 blog posts during the day, tons of comments on others, but not a single word did I write in my novel til after 10pm. Oh well, I got my words in now. Now I just need to find the elusive sleep spot in my pillow. Maybe I will dream my next scene!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Bedtime. or whatever.

I am cuddled up on the couch with my 3am visitor. I thought I could sneak out of bed and come and work on my novel for a few moments before everyone else got up. I am definitely realizing that trying to concentrate on my story while being climbed upon by 2 preschoolers and chattered at by 2 tweens is not an easy task. It is so not happening. And with my dh not here, by the time I get them all tucked into their beds it is late already.
Remember my brag/rant about bedtime in my home? Well those big boys, who have never given me any trouble about bedtime were givin' me the runaround last night.
Oh but first let me tell you what my almost 4 year old Monkey boy started crying about when I put him to bed last night! He was balling for his crib, absolutely distraught wanting his crib back. He has been in a toddler bed since June, which was very late, but he showed no interest in leaving the security of his crib. Now he wants it back, he was crying about Daddy taking it to the dump and everything. Aw.

~The rest of my evening~
8:50 Go brush your teeth and get in bed
9:00 I said go get in your bed
9:06 Why are you still here, go get in your bed
9:10 Stop fighting in the bathroom, B - brush your teeth, R - sit outside the door and wait
9:14 B, I said to brush your teeth! R, what are you stuffing under the bathroom door?
9:17 R, go brush your teeth, B why are you in the kitchen, go get in bed!
9:19 NO, you can not sleep in the same room! B. go get in your own bed.
You want to have a sleep together? Well, I want you to actually sleep! and I want you to get up in the morning before 10:30! Fine, but if I hear a peep you are going back to your own room
Good night, I love you.
9:21 Why are you up? Hurry up and pee, goodness.
9:23 Why are you up? Get your drink and get in bed.
9:24 Why are you up? GO TO SLEEP!
9:26 Why are you up? You do not have to PEE! Fine, pee and go to sleep.
9:28 WHY THE HECK ARE YOU UP NOW?!? GET IN BED.
9:30 SERIOUSLY, WHY ARE YOU UP NOW? THERE IS NO WAY ON THIS GREEN EARTH THAT YOU NEED TO PEE AGAIN. I guess B needs to go to his own room.
9:32 WHAT are you both doing in the kitchen? SERIOUSLY! (I say this a lot when I am frustrated) GET IN YOUR OWN FLIPPIN' BEDS NOW! I love you both, goodnight.
9:37 (I have been distracted by being on the phone so I go up to R's room to check on the situation.) R. get up that ladder and get in your own bed! B I told you to go to your own room, I meant it. I want you to get some sleep tonight, you need it.
R,"B, can you pass me my thermos?"
Me, "Thermos? Why, pray tell, do you have a thermos? What is in it? (oh and yes I do actually say things like 'pray tell'-too much reading as a kid I tell you!)
R, " Chocolate milk."
Me, "In your room? Why on earth would you think that was okay? Hand it over mister."
B, "Here I have some milk too, Mom."
Me, "You are almost 13, why on earth do you have a sippy cup of milk in bed?" (in my head I said, W..........T..............!!!!!!!!!??????)
Go get in your own bed, NOW.

10: 03 I go to use the facilities and then go back down to work on my novel. I can't believe I haven't written anything yet, it is so flippin' late.
10:05 I hear the sound of the air mattress refilling slightly and realize that my eldest did not in fact go to his own room as I had requested, but was still up in the 10 year old's room.
10:08 Sound of air mattress refilling, studiously ignored by me.
10:10 Sound of air mattress refilling, I am not going up there, I have to write.
every 3 or 4 minutes I hear that same sound, but I am going to write and then I am going to get those silly boys up at 6 am and put them to work. Maybe tomorrow night they will go to bed.
11:27 I have given up writing, my brain is mush, up I go to bed. As I pass R's room I hear the sound of the stereo playing and I go in to shut it off. As I open the door there is a rustle of blankets on the air mattress and a flash of light.
This little twerp has been reading under the blankets! (now I remember doing that as a child and think it is a right of passage and there are worse things he could be doing I am sure. but tonight it makes me see red.) I say in my best my temper is barely restrained, quiet voice, "Give me the flashlight and go to sleep." I wait as he stares at me with big eyes, trying to look innocent I guess. "Give me that flashlight right now. NOW!" He fumbles around for it while continuing to stare at me with those huge eyes. "That is it young man, I am getting you up at 5 and putting you to work! I love you sweetie, goodnight." I believe in always leaving them to go to sleep on a positive note.
I am positive that this carp will not be going on tonight.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

NO TP!

Okay, I am sitting here writing up a storm, my dh said this one word when he called to say goodnight to the kids, and it pulled all my subplots together and I am so excited my fingers won't stop.
Until nature called. I ran upstairs into the bathroom. No tp. I check my stash in the hall closet. No tp. I check the other bathroom. Not one square. fudge. I had already made a semi-emergency stop at the store earlier today to pick up diapers and laundry detergent since I had used the last of those. Did not occur to me to check the tp situation, we usually have extra laying around.
I run down to the 13 year's room and tell him that I have to run to the store quickly, I grab my phone and keys and race out to the van. I head to the local Safeway because it is open til 11, most of the other groceries close at 10 pm now.
I have been avoiding this Safeway lately because they are renovating and therefore things are moved around and I have a hard time finding what I am looking for. But the bonus of the renovations is that there happens to be a large number of youthful attractive male construction workers hanging about. *grin*
As I walk in, one of these young men proceeds to check me out and I was in such shock that I actually laughed out loud. Poor guy. I do look rather charming in my fleece jacket and jeans combo circa the hockey mom collection of 2007 (or 2005 maybe, I think)
Unfortunately nature was calling in earnest so I raced on past, straight to the paper product isle in search of my grail. Small white sheets of 30% post-consumer recycled paper product. I quickly pay and race back out to my van and I 'punch it Chewy!'* as my kids like to yell as I pull away from red lights. (*Starwars reference) I then proceed to hit every red light on the way home as my post-5 pregnancies bladder screams in protest.
And here I am back at my computer, where instead of continuing my novel writing frenzy, I feel the need to tell my story to all of you.
Okay, break over, back to the novel...

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Oops, he did it again.

Yep, at 3:30 when I got up to tinkle, guess who was already in my bed. Yep, you guessed it! My own little Monkey Boy. But he actually kept to my side of the bed, so I was able to tuck in and sleep on the other side. And sleep I did. I set my Treo to awaken me at 6 am so I could drive my Dad to the airport at 6:30. I knew I would have to take my Juju monkey with me so I gave myself time to dress him as well. I tucked my Treo beside my pillow just to make extra sure I wouldn't miss it ringing.
When I sat bolt upright in bed at 6:45, I scrambled for a robe and ran out to tell my Dad I would be right there. He was gone. He drove himself to the airport.
I feel like a horrid daughter, now he has to pay for parking for 2 weeks and had to drive in morning city traffic by himself, which he really does not love. I called him right away apologising profusely, but he was of course sweet and gracious about it. I actually love getting up and taking him, it is lovely to be up and out of the house before 7, and visiting with my Dad. I love the long, lone drive home by myself with the music playing loudly and my coffee by my side.
Since Juju and I were up anyway, we cuddled up on the couch with some chocolate milk for a while and I got a few hundred words written for my novel, and then everyone else was up. My morning quiet time was extremely short, but nice. Well I am on my way out again to taekwondo, then hopefully I can get up on my word count.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Confessional

I have a dirty little secret. I have kept quiet about it because of pride. I have been quietly prideful of my children's sleep habits for 13 years. And quietly disdainful of those parents who couldn't get their kids to go to sleep (and stay asleep) on their own - in their own beds on a regular basis.
I have had reason for my pride, but I usually do not share it as people might take offense to my blatant bragging, it is a sore spot for many. My eldest started sleeping 5 hours every night by 5 weeks, by nine weeks it was 8 hours. It wasn't long til he regularly slept 12 hours a night. We started a wonderful bedtime routine of baths and clean-up, stories and songs, prayers and cuddles at a very young age and never had any trouble putting him to bed as a result.
The other children followed suit with variations on this theme. Number 2 took a few weeks til he would stay in his big boy bed when we made the switch from crib to bed. He would immediately get up as soon as the door shut. We persevered though and I sat outside his room and just kept putting him back in his bed. Within a few weeks he went to bed without a hitch. He needs less sleep than his older brother and has always been an early riser.
My younger two were no harder. In fact anyone who is at my house at bedtime just marvels when I come back downstairs after a minute of singing and praying and my babes just go to sleep. (Got that 1 hour bed routine with ds #1 down to approx. 1 minute with ds #3;) Even when we made the transfer to big boy bed for my Monkey Boy, he didn't give us an ounce of trouble.
For a while.
Now for my confession.
My Monkey Boy is not a perfect sleeper. And his Mommy is so tired. Now I realize after all I just shared that not one of you feels any pity for me and that is okay. The sleep fairies have given far more than my fair share of sleeping babes over the years. I get that. But man am I tired.
My little boy goes through periods of time where he gets up in the wee hours of the morning and crawls into bed with me. He then proceeds to kick and push and pull on me for a few hours til I can't stand it anymore and get up. Now sleep is something that has often eluded me, even as a child I suffered with insomnia off and on. I go through long periods where I have a difficult time falling asleep, especially when sleeping alone. Like right now. (After my oldest was born and was sleeping so well, I didn't sleep for 6 months. ) So I don't fall asleep til a little bit before my Monkey Boy comes a calling, so I am a bit tired. And a teensy bit surly my kids might tell you.
Now I have no one to blame but myself. A couple of weeks ago my dh and I woke up in our bed alone. We realized that we had been doing that for quite some time. Juju was not even coming in to say good morning when he woke up anymore. He was going downstairs with our other early riser and watching treehouse or playing. We felt a bit sad at missing out on a few morning cuddles, as well as the wake up call so we were aware of him wandering the house.
So my dh called our Monkey boy to come and see us and he came bouncing up the stairs. He immediately crawled in with us to cuddle and I mentioned how he didn't come and cuddle with us anymore and we missed it.
The very next morning, before the arrival of Mr. Sun, there was our Juju Monkey taking over my spot in the bed, snuggling in and pushing me with those cold little toesies. And there he has been every morning (and I use that word loosely) since.
Silly Sleepy Mommy.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

More Halloween photos.

My princess loved trick-or-treat so very much.























This is really hard to see, but my friend's dh came up with the idea of being stick men for Halloween. He used really big glow sticks to make the shapes and attached them to their all black clothing. They came knocking at our door and then all lined up in front of the bushes.
I opened the door and all I could see at first was these terrific, glow-in-the-dark stick men! It took me a second to take in that this was my friend's family. By far the best costumes of the night!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Crazy kids= no writing

Today I have ... 0! words so far. yeah. My kids are driving me a bit nuts today. Their failure to acknowledge my existence is beyond my ability to endure at the moment.
I think I will go to the tea place around lunch and write there. Tea relaxes me immensely, the heat and the scent, mmmm. Plus a fairly kid-free environment should make for a good writing space. Wish me luck, I will update my word count later, I HOPE!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

2140! It is 2:15pm and I have surpassed my word count goal for today. 2141 words to be exact! I am so proud of my kids too, they both surpassed their word goals for today as well. We even got the main floor tidied up. Now I get to go and have my shower, mop the floors and fold laundry. Woohoo!
hmm, since when is folding laundry a reward? It is amazing how knowing that I shouldn't be doing my chores til my word count is in, has made chores seem attractive. I have way more energy for them than I ever do. Wow, this novel writing is great!
I don't imagine I will be spending a ton of time blogging or blog reading in the next month, and for that I apologize. If I don't get to your blog to comment much this month please forgive me, I will try to make it up to you in December, when I plan on taking most of the month off:)
Please keep asking me if I made my word count goals, I need the encouragement and accountability. Maybe I will send you all advance, signed copies of my novel when it gets published! haha.
Off for my reward! A long hot shower, followed by a Vanilla Bean latte when I take the kids to Taekwondo.
Oh! Don't forget to scroll down to see my kiddies in their cute halloween costumes! (If you like that sort of thing, you know the most adorable children on earth dressed up in precious costumes, that sort of thing;)

word count update

The kids and I just sat down for our first writing session and we are all over our first goals of the day. I am at 1123 for the day and I am so pumped! I told the kids that we would do four sessions a day and as they reached their quarterly goals they could have a halloween treat. So far so good. I am gonna take a break and tidy up from breakfast and then we will go again. Wish us luck!