Sunday, December 04, 2011

The Real Mighty's

I absolutely can't wait to print the last 5 of these goofy, photobooth canvases I did of our family. I made the kids pose for some silly shots and then put the photos into 8" x 20" rectangular canvases at MamasMemories.ca. When I finally get my hallway painted, these are going on the wall as you go up the stairs. I found the inspiration for these on Pinterest, one of my visual obsessions! These are 3 separate canvases of my middle kids.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Explosions.

Zed has had a language explosion in the last month or two. He has always spoken a lot, but he has had a very hard time making himself understood. I had to try really hard and I only got maybe half of what he was trying to say. I can't imagine how frustrating the last year or two has been for him. He has always been extremely verbal; he could use pronouns correctly before he was two; he could also construct complex sentences.

Finally, we can understand most of what he is saying. Sometimes it takes a little guessing, but he is doing so much better. And the things he has to say are pretty insightful and incredible. "Mama, what 'be careful' mean?" "Okay, I see..." he says when he gets his answers. So cute.

The one sad spot for me in his newfound verbal growth is that he has started calling me, "Mo-ee," (mommy) instead of my beloved, "Mama." Mama is by far, my favourite name.

Zed is also showing great interest in the written word. He knows a number of letters and what words or sounds they stand for. P is for Papa was his favourite. Then E is for Eppy, which is what he calls himself.
He now points to words that he finds and asks me, "Mama, what this word say?" and then I have to read it to him. He will sit with me and a book and point to the words and 'read' them. Or I will read and point and he will read along out loud, pointing as he goes. I have a feeling that he will be another early reader.

Baby Sunshine is also having a language explosion. He, at 1, already has a lot of words. He has names for all of us, plus he says 'brother'. He says hi and ball, up, asks 'what dat?', says wah wah (water), bo-uh (for cup or water bottle), and lots of other things that escape me at the moment. Apparently, he is continuing his trend of trying to keep up with his older siblings; sort of like when he walked by nine months. His favourite word is Be-uh, which is what he calls his big sister. She is the highlight of his life, the apple of his eye. She is his little momma and plays with him and caretakes him.

This week, we had a rash of tooth loss. Teeth were popping out all over the place. Dr. J is officially toothless. He has one giant front tooth and 4 missing around it. I do not know how he eats! Girly also lost 2 teeth. Our hapless and inept tooth fairy is officially broke. (inept because she is continually missing appointments and leaving teeth behind...)


Life with 6 children is full of explosions. Excitement and noise and messes and is often so fast-paced that you can get lost in the hectic pace and forget to be still in the eye of the hurricane and record, remember, have gratitude, be present and enjoy. Over the Christmas season, I want to be really deliberate in these things and let go of expectations and shoulds so that I can count it joy with my family. Part of that journey this year is celebrating Advent and doing a Jesse tree with my kids. This is the study we are using, it is technically missing a few days as advent is at its longest this year, but it will work for us.

Hope you are enjoying this time of preparation as we await the celebration of our most precious gift.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

This week with the MMM's

Today is good. We are on the uphill after a wobbly week. My four little people started getting sick ten days ago, but they are finally getting better. I only have one humidifier going tonight and I didn't have to give any meds at bedtime!

Poor baby Sunshine ended up in the hospital very early Monday morning after a night of not sleeping and labouring to breathe. He had a particularily nasty case of croup, but after 3 treatments of inhaled epinephrine, two steroids and getting his oxygen sats up to 95% he was ready to go home. He was breathing much easier, though he still had some stridor until Tuesday.

None of us did much sleeping in the last week and a half, but after two straight nights of everyone sleeping all night, we are doing much better.

In other, more positive news, my two teenaged sons were involved in a youth drama production at our Church on Sunday. They have been working very hard for the past month and they did an excellent job. I was a little shocked at the powerful message portrayed in the play and how well the group did it. I cried like a baby during the first show. And laughed a lot too. The boys had told us some of the goofy scenes they were in, but until watching, the real message hadn't really sunk in. In one scene, one of the boys gives up his life for the other. Hard for momma to watch. But really good. When it is up on the Church website, I will post the link.

It finally snowed here on Monday, the roads were nutty, but things have settled now. My lovely husband went and got groceries and diapers for us, so I wouldn't have to.

Oh! and Zed started potty learning this week. He was doing fantastic, including doing all his number 2's on the toilet until tonight, when he did 2 of them in his underwear. Not sure what happened there, but tomorrow is a new day. He has actually been taking himself to the potty since January or so, but every time we would put underwear on him, he would piddle. And his siblings were not comfortable with him running bare bum all day!  So I just left it, until he was ready, which he seems to be now.

Finally and happily, my husband is working on my kitchen this week. I full expect to have an entire wall of pantry and my wall oven/microwave combo completed this week. They the difficult stuff starts, the ripping out of the entire old kitchen and install of the new. I am hoping for my kitchen to be done by Christmas... I guess we will see. I think this whole thing started in 2007, maybe even 2006!

Lots going on in our family at any given time. I am so thankful that we are all together and that we have so many awesome opportunities.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Broken Wing

Last year, my second son, Superboy, discovered football. More importantly, he discovered that football is his passion and that it allowed him to grow more into who he is. I love my boy as a footballer, he is just so much happier and content. Even when they were losing, he was just jazzed to be a part of it all.
Yesterday was probably the hardest day in his football career. All was excitement as they got on the bus for their trip to the first game of the season. Dad is coaching this year, so he was there too. Their team then won a decisive victory against their rivals. 5 touchdowns! The first one of the game, with a huge run, was scored by Superboy's backup.
Remember, Superboy broke his arm 2 weeks ago in practice. He couldn't play. He couldn't help his team to victory. He couldn't have his taste of that delicious pie.
Now don't get me wrong. That kid has been at every practice, helping his team with his great understanding and eye for the game. He sat on the sidelines, being eyes for his coaches during this game. Being his teams biggest cheerleader. Encouraging his teammates, patting their backs after a tough play and screaming at the top of his lungs at the great ones. No one was happier to see their team win than my boy.
But he truly felt the sting of not being part of it all. Not running that touchdown in himself. Who wouldn't want to be that guy?
He had a pretty rough rest of his day. I saw the tears welling in his eyes more than once. My heart broke for him, I ached to trade him my good arm for his broken wing. I am worried about him, about depression setting in. I just pray that he turns to God to sustain him and that God heals him quickly so that he can get back to his love. I love my footballer, but I am so very proud of my boy who can't play. That team couldn't ask for a better support than him. He has really shown the kind of man that he is. And I couldn't be more proud.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What a Week!

Well, first off, The Boy is home safe from his mission's trip. More on that tomorrow.

My original plan for the past week was to have previously got everyone ready to move out for a couple weeks, to have organized and decluttered the house and garage and to have packed up my kitchen. Then the littles and I would leave for Grande Prairie after dropping The Boy off at the airport.
The actuality was that I didn't get anything on my list done except packing The Boy up and a lot of laundry done. When I got home from my 4 am drop-off at the airport and dropped dead asleep in my bed for a bit. I tried to pretend to stay asleep as the kids crawled on my head and asked me repeatedly when we could go to GP.
Then we got up, did some laundry, I packed and loaded the van, buckled the kids and I fed them. I think it was about 2pm by the time we finally left town.
The kids travelled really well, after only 2 stops and under 6 hours, we were in GP and at Nana's house, visiting with my sister and niece. The best friends/cousins were so happy to be together finally! The next day we packed up again and were on the road first thing in the morning to go to our hometown in Northern BC for my Dad's 60th birthday party. Only a 2.5 hour drive each way...
We had a fantastic time there, visiting with my 3 sisters, our extended family, meeting new cousins, eating and remembering. I just wished we had planned on staying there longer, like maybe overnight. There was so much that I wanted to show my kids, the places we used to hang out when we were young and I felt like I barely got to see my Dad at all. Next time we will have to do that.
Tuesday we spent at my Mom's, mostly just us, but my sister did come by and spend the evening with us and my Mom. That evening I got a phone call that I thought was a joke.
My husband was on the phone, it was after football practice and I expected to hear from him then. I could hear Superboy in the background and he was making a fair amout of noise, I assumed he and his Dad were fooling around. Then Brent tells me that Superboy broke his arm. "Whatever", I said, "Don't joke around like that!" Superboy's strange sounds are louder now. I realize he is moaning and hear some choked back sobs. So I waver. Normally, my Superboy doesn't have much reaction to pain, he had a very high tolerance for it. I was sure that he was putting on a show to reinforce his Dad's tale. But maybe, just maybe he really was in a lot of pain.
So then I was trying not to cry, my Mom caught my eye, so I quickly reassured her that Superboy broke his arm and not that something bad has happened to my older son in Mexico.
My husband reassured me, he was taking Superboy to the hospital, they will take good care of him. And they did. His arm was visibly broken. They got him in right away, did x-rays, set his arm, casted and x-rayed again. He was on his way home again within 2 hours. I was so sad to not be there holding his hand. Especially when they drugged him and set his arm. My husband insisted on explaining to me how the nurses held his shoulder and the doctor hung off the bed on the end of Superboy's arm.
To be honest, I am glad that I wasn't there for that. It is so awful that they give the kids an amnesia drug so they don't remember the pain that was so intense it woke my boy from his sedation. I hated hearing about the drugs' effects on my boy too. He was confused and my heart hurt for him.
So, when I went to GP, I was supposed to be there for a week or two and work was supposed to be done on my kitchen. I had cut my time away to one week, because it was evident, because of my husband's job, that the kitchen was not getting demo-ed. After the broken arm, I felt that I should be home with my hurt boy, but my husband and I decided that he would take the next day off and I would stay and rest in GP for a day before driving again. The kids and I were all sick of being on the highway!
Thursday came and we were back home, after almost 18 hours of driving in 5 days, the littles bugging their big brother and happy to be home. And though I love being with my family, I was glad to be home too, much easier to take care of 2 toddlers when you are in your own space. Especially now that they are all sick. And so am I. But it is okay, we are all home and safe. Together.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Ready to Launch

August 14, 2011
I know you can't tell by looking at me (wishful thinking...), but I have 2 teenaged sons. My eldest, affectionately blog-named, The Boy), is almost 17 and he is about to leave the nest. Well only for 2 weeks, but it feels like he will be gone forever! The Boy is on his way to Mexico with a group from our church to do a short-term mission. I couldn't be more proud of him, he has a servant's heart and missions is a perfect extension of that.
They will be in the far South of the Baja peninsula at a mission that houses an orphanage and has a macadamia nut orchard. They will be working with the kids, doing manual labour, clearing brush in the orchards and working in the migrant camps with both kids and adults. Real hands on, life-changing stuff. I can't wait for him to get home and tell me all about it!
After being up until after 11, doing last minute packing, we were up by 3:30 am to take him to the airport. I had a hard time not sobbing the whole way. I took him in, he joined his group and got checked in. He gave me a few hugs and I tried to choke back my tears. I was the only mom hanging around, so I soon made my exit, even though everything in me screamed that I should keep him in my sight as long as humanly possible.
I knew he was feeling my mixed emotions, he is empathetic to the extreme. When we asked him how he was feeling on the way to the airport, he said he was worried about how his little brothers and sisters would handle him being gone. We reassured him, and that is part of why I wanted to get out of there. He was excited and I didn't want to taint that.
When I got back out to the car, I told my husband that it was just like his first day of kindergarten. He ran off excitedly, ready for the new adventure, while I stood back, watching him in awe and balling. And I think that is how it is supposed to be. We raise them so that we can launch them off into the world. We are left behind, but hopefully ready to begin our next adventure too.




Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sleep. Again.

So last night, on the Twitter, I realized that we Moms talk about sleep a lot. (There is an awesome thread on there devoted to sleep-deprived moms, called #zombiemoms.)  Once you become a Mom, your sleep changes forever. I have a child or two that sleep like the dead. Heavy, heavy sleepers, don't wake up for anything. I used to sleep like that, when I could get to sleep that is. But not for the past 17 years.

Now I wake at every change in breathing. I can hear their wee snores from my room, and can tell when one of them has awoken in the night, just by the absence of their heavy, sleepy breathing. I have missed more sleep than I can even begin to count, between baby feedings and middle-of-the-night sickies and night terrors... My sleep debt can not be made up. The last 3 years, I have slept through the night maybe 2 weeks worth of nights.

I am not exaggerating. Baby Zed, who is now almost 3, has not been much of a sleeper and comes into my bed most nights. Usually, especially since Baby Sunshine's birth, one of us moves him back to his own bed, but sometimes we are just too tired to bother. The biggest problem with that is I can't sleep with him in my bed. He breathes too loud. He lays on my head. He wiggles. He thrashes and sleep talks. sigh.

I really don't understand what happened with him. His older 4 siblings all slept like a dream. Through the night by a few months, most of them for 12 hours stretches. Of course there were blips. The non-nappers. The 'I am 5 months old and I am going to start waking at night again just to torture Mom' times. The teething for weeks blips. But overall, they were all amazing sleepers. I will admit to being a bit judgemental of parents who's kids wouldn't go to bed or stay in bed. "Just put them to bed!" I would think to myself. "Why on earth would you lay down with them when they don't want to sleep, this sleep thing just requires a bit of discipline!" "It ain't gonna kill the kid to cry for 5 minutes..." (which is all I could ever handle!)
Then I had Baby Zed. He did not sleep independently. He did not self-soothe. He did not stay in his bed for more than 6 hours. "What on earth was I doing wrong??? What did I forget???"  and then, "Why am I being punished???" Well, we know why, don't we? It was my self-righteous scoffing at all those other sleepless parents!
Whatever the reason, Zed has not been a sleeper. We have tried everything. We finally did establish a bed time routine that has helped get him to stay in bed in under an hour, without us laying down with him. At least most nights. But in reality, he is still a crappy sleeper and does not nap. And when he does nap, he wakes up grumpy and often screaming inconsolably for an hour. (I think it is low blood sugar, but not sure)

Then Baby Sunshine was added to this mix. His sleep looked promising, he was going 6 hours at a time almost right away. Then 8! Unfortunately, never more than 10. But I will take 10. The only problem with Baby Sunshine's sleep is that he has been in our room for the last 9+ months. Where I can hear every sound. Where I stir at every breath. Don't get me wrong, I love co-sleeping with my newborns. It is the perfect solution when your new little bundle wakes every 2 hours to feed. But once they go 4-6 hours, and especially when they start wiggling and rolling, I much prefer them in their own bed. And it is much easier for them and you to sleep through the night when they are not in your room. Every time baby stirs, I hear him and wake up. If he whimpers a bit, I find it much easier to get him and take him to bed and nurse him, than to lie awake wondering if he is going to go back to sleep or scream. So I did. And therefore, we were both night waking again.

Last weekend, we finally put him in with Girly and it has been awesome. Sunshine has slept every night, he is even napping better. I have yet to sleep through the night, but I am working on it. Maybe we will even get Zed to sleep. Now that would be awesome!


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Sunshine Speaks!

I keep noticing that Baby Sunshine seems to copy words that I say, in his wee baby voice. The names of his brothers and sister. His name, when he was chatting with Daddy on the phone one night. Various other things that sound suspiciously like words. But at nine months, I was sure that I was just putting words in his mouth.

But just now, The Boy and I were sitting here and big brother said, " I love you," to baby brother. And Baby Sunshine said it right back. The Boy and I just stared at each other in disbelief. Woah. He speaks.

Sleep is the new coffee!

So we spent the weekend covered in paint and got Girly's room almost finished. Brent put all the trim up and we got a few coats of white up, we just need to fix the colour transition corners and put up all the art I have so far. Brent had built some shelves and a window seat to go along the front wall in there, but the room is just not big enough for the built-ins and two kids' beds.
When we were finished, Brent built the crib for baby Sunshine and he has now spent 3 nights in there. 3 WHOLE nights! I can't remember the last time he slept through the night, 3 nights in a row. It is heaven. I love having my room back! In fact, he is having a nap in there right now. He rarely has a morning nap! Of course, he usually just goes right back to sleep after his morning nurse, and sleeps until 9. Today, he got up and had breakfast with the other 3 littles, and now he is napping. I like this way better!
Like the stellar parent I am, I am upstairs while the littles are all in the family room watching TV and the teens are still in bed. I don't feel like rocking the boat quite yet. So I will hide out with my laptop and a cup of tea, and blog or scrapbook, until I hear Zed getting into something or the baby wakes up. Then I will make everyone get dressed and go outside.
I don't know if that is really the best thing, but I am feeling the need for a wee break and a bit of time to myself.
...
and I spoke too soon. Here comes Zed...

oh well, I had 5 whole minutes to myself, now I get to cuddle with my cutie. Hope you have a great one!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Perspective. I need to get me some o'dat.

So Brent has been working out of town since July 4. I just realized that he has been away all month. All summer. No wonder I feel a little loopy. He did come home last weekend and we spent the entire weekend ordering a kitchen. Literally 11 hours spent at Ikea. Worth it, but not exactly every one's idea of quality time with Dad.

You would think that after having him here for a few days, this week would have been easier. But really, it just sucked. I sucked. I was not a fun parent. I did not enjoy my kids. I love them, but I really did not want to hang out with them this week. The constant noise and bickering grated on my nerves. Some of them spent an inordinate amount of time shrieking. Some picking on others. Some telling me no and to go away they hated me. I didn't even enjoy my baby all the time. I felt exhausted by having to carry him around all day and dig things out of his mouth every five seconds because we can't seem to keep the floors clean and safe around here for even 5 minutes. 

I haven't even slept alone. Both Zed and Sunshine have been in my bed every night that Brent has been gone. Girly has made numerous appearances at the end of my bed too, I awake with her asleep on my feet like a cat!

Anyway, the other night, after 2 hours of struggling, I had finally got all four littles asleep. The baby had drifted off in my arms and I gently laid him in his bed. All I had been able to think of for hours was escaping for a few minutes to be alone and maybe drink a coffee or get some groceries or something.

As I laid him down, Sunshine immediately started screaming. I tried to comfort him, but I was pretty sure it was pointless. He has been doing that lately, barely napping or sleeping without me next to him. He had been doing so well, I could lay him down awake and he would go to sleep on his own... Anyway, I couldn't deal with starting all over again. I left him in his bed and went downstairs for a couple minutes to cry and regroup. I called my husband and whined and listened to my baby scream.

After about 5 minutes I couldn't take it anymore and I went up to check on babe. He was so upset. I picked him up and he puked all over both of us. I felt like the worst parent ever. I just balled as I cleaned us both up. I took him to my bed to comfort him and nurse him. I looked over at his bed and realized he had puked all over it. Poor thing! I was sure that he was puking because he was so upset and that made me a monster.

I was a wee bit relieved the next day when he was still puking and had watery stools. I knew that he wasn't sick from crying then. But my heart hurt that he was sick.

I love my family, I adore staying home with my kids and spending time with them. But a girl needs some support and some mental health time. I am trying to let go of the guilt, change my attitude of wanting escape and give myself some breaks. I want to be the best mom I can. I want to enjoy my kids and our time together. I don't want to be grumpy and short with them, I don't want to resent them and their presence. But sometimes, I feel all of those negative things and little of the positive. That is the truth.

And then life gets back to normal and one of them wraps their sticky little arms around my neck, or my teenager speaks to me in a silly accent about breakfast sausage and all is right in my little universe. I am thankful for my life and I love my kids. That is also truth.

But I am human. And once in a while I lose it, or wish I was on a beach with a fruity drink and a book and no kids. I was going to say, "No one calling me Mom." but what sweeter sound is there in the world than a wee voice saying, "Mom," and they are talking to you? I can't think of any...
Perspective. It is a good thing.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

What Was I Thinking?!

I think about this place everyday. I want to write, I have so many things rushing around in my head, just itching to get out. So many memories that get lost in the jumble of my thoughts because I haven't taken the time to put them to paper. (or screen as the case may be) The last 2+ years have been a blur, a crazy, fun, messy, sleepless blur. Having kids in your mid-thirties on top of the ones you had in your early twenties....
and your early thirties...          is insane!
My body is definitely showing its age. Going without sleep results in grumpy, headachey mommy with tight skin and wrinkles and dark circles. At 20-something, the sleeplessness was a minor blip!
I love my nutty life! My kids are amazing, if a bit loud and not a few of them remind me of  Pig Pen. I am daily amazed at what goes on in their wee brains and comes out of their not-so-wee mouths. Their deliciously tight hugs and sticky kisses, warm the cockles of my heart and plaster over the cracks left in my sanity by the constant whirlwinds of activity, noise and dirt.
There was a time when I wondered what the heck I was thinking, having kids (to be honest, I wonder this daily), staying at home with them, home educating... I questioned whether or not what I was doing had value in this world, I thought others would look down on me for not having a big career or finishing my education. Heck, I looked down upon my self, my vocation at times. I thought it somehow made me less than.
But I am so much smarter now. As I get older, I understand, more and more, the idea that our lives have seasons. This is my season for raising and launching my children. For giving them the best start that I can, for embracing the opportunity I have been given to stay at home with them and pour as much love and care into them as I possibly can. For preparing them to lauch successully into their own lives.
Of course I am sometimes anxious and excited to learn what the next season will hold, but for now, I want to soak up as many cuddles and snuggles, baby rolls and wet kisses, dirt and noise that I can.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Sunshine

Oh my goodness! Spring has really and truly sprung! The sun has been shining and it was warm enough this week for the kids to want to run through the sprinkler. I even dug out my shorts... and revealed my pasty, Canadian legs to the world. (or at least the other soccer parents)
Our schedule has filled up again and our evenings feel a bit rushed, but we love watching the kids running about after the soccer ball. Brent is coaching Girly's U6 team on Monday nights, and Super Boy's Bantam football team on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays. Girly plays on M/W and Dr. J plays soccer on T/T, so there is a lot of running around to do, but lots of fresh air and laughs too. The weather has been warm and windy, the wind helping to ward of the killer swarms of mosquitoes that have been a plague this spring, and I feel as if spring has blossomed in me as well.
Winter in the Canadian North is interminably long.  I do pretty well until February and then I feel as if I am coming a bit unravelled. I slow down, I want to spend long afternoons curled in my bed with a book. I don't really want to bundle up my 6 children to take them out. I begin to resent mittens and gloves that never seem to be where they are supposed to be. I am sure there are mitten brownies that visit in the night and hide the darn things, permanently.

By April, I need the sun and the warmth and the ability to go outside without 30 extra pounds of clothing per child. I get a bit depressed and it takes until we start having 20 plus days and the flowers on the trees are blooming before I really start to feel like myself again. And now we are having a lovely May and my heart is warm and fuzzy again!

Monday, May 09, 2011

Mother's Day

Hope your Mother's Day was lovely. I had a pretty blessed day. I woke up with only one wee babe in my bed and listened to the hurried preparations downstairs. Cards were being crafted, pancakes flipped, milk was being steamed. While my 13 year old slept, the Boy (16) was busy cooking my breakfast while my husband coordinated and made my yummy latte. I am so thankful that my husband was home this year, and that he took it upon himself to make my day special. I love Mother's day morning, there is nothing like that joyful expectation as I await the appearance of all those smiling faces and giddy gift giving.

But not all Mother's Days are joyful, and if yours was not, please know that I empathize with you and I am so sorry. Some years, we are sad because our own Mothers are sick or have passed away. Some of us do not have mothers worthy of celebration. (I am so thankful that I do, my Mother is amazing!) And sometimes, we are aching to be mothers, but our arms are empty.

I will never forget the first Mother's Day after we had our sweet, stillborn baby, Kalila. She was born on April 26, so only a few weeks before Mother's day. As Mother's day approached, I only wanted one thing - my Mother. So I went home to my Mom and was able to just let all my pain hang out with her. She was my rock, she just wept with me. It was a bit hard to be around my sisters who were also pregnant, but mostly because I really didn't want them to feel badly. I wanted their happiness with all my heart, but I wanted mine back too.

That was the hardest Mother's day I have ever had, even though I had two amazing living children, I so wanted my missing daughter, to hold her in my arms. The only way I survived that time was to picture myself in God's arms, big enough for all my sorrow, pain and anger, and to picture Him rocking me as I rocked my baby girl. He was my Mother and my Father through all that time and is still today.

I hope you had an amazing Mother's day, filled with the people you love. Know that you are not alone.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Mess.

Goodness, I feel like crying. I guess Zed decided to poop on the potty by himself. He then went to play in his room. He kept sitting on the carpet in different places and getting poop everywhere. He then realized his mistake and got some toilet paper and tried to wipe himself and the floor and toys. There is poop everywhere and the headache I have been fighting for 3 days is starting to win.
Growing kids is a job full of growing pains. Their need for independence and their skill levels are in constant opposition. This creates mess, both physical and emotional, and some days I do not feel equal to the task of managing and facilitating, never mind the clean up.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Hello. Goodbye.

Last night was not only the last day of the year, but it was my Monkey's seventh birthday. We had planned to spend the evening at a friend's New Year's bash, but decided to stay home as a family. We had a lovely day of cake with relatives and friends, supper with Gramps and board games together in the evening. All but Zed stayed up for the countdown. As midnight arrived and everyone was cheering and kissing, my Monkey wept. Granted, it was late and he is only just seven, but I recognized and sympathized with his melancholy. He was disappointed that his birthday was over, that the year was over. The extra-special day that he had been waiting all year for, was not quite as spectacular as he had built it up to be. His lovely year of six, was done.
Today, he was back to himself. The mourning of the previous night, seemingly forgotten. But I get it. I felt it too. Firstly, I was a bit sad to see 6 leave and 7 begin. He is no longer my little guy, but a big boy and that pinches just a bit. Also, I always feel that sense of disappointment at the end of my birthday. I always want something to make it an extra special day, but as a grown up, my birthday seems to have lost something. More that any of these though, I am sad to say good bye to 2010.
This year was very full. Joy and loss, expectancy and fulfillment, extreme fatigue and rest, need and great blessing. I can see God's hand in it all, and I am so thankful for it all. The whole journey, especially where we find ourselves now. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us in 2011. I know that there will be hard times and sorrow, but there is much to be gained there. So I look forward to the joys and the opportunities to grow with equal optimism. And I look forward to the seemingly impossible, a full night's sleep, that I know 2011 will bring.