Friday, November 13, 2009

Baby Zed's Board Book

Check out this board book I made with my Heritage Makers studio!
You can make one too, it's easy, just ask me how! Sign up for your free studio here. www.heritagemakers.com/283163

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Get Me Out of Here!

Well Monkey boy has spent the day annoying his brothers and sister, so apparently he is starting to feel better. He still has a fever of 101, but with acetaminophen on board he seems to feel okay. Girly and Baby Zed are both sick as well, today being baby's worst. I have a call into the doctor about him, because he seems to have a secondary infection. So far so good though. They seem to be going through their illness quite quickly and I hope they will all be better by the weekend.
Mama is a bit tired, but keeping her sense of humour about the whole thing. I thought that their little cups of meds lined up on the counter was kinda funny and they looked so cute when they are all sitting there with thermometers under their arms. Not so cute is Zed's pathetic, little cough. sigh.

The big boys are still healthy and bickering at the moment. They decided that we should give Nanowrimo a shot again this year. They are both pretty psyched about it, especially because all youth who meet their goal get a proof copy of their novel published. So cool! Can you imagine being 12 and passing around a book that you wrote! They are both keeping up with their word count goals. I have done exactly zero words today. I am avoiding it by blogging these lame-o paragraphs...

So far this week we have missed swimming and choir and tonight is supposed to be soccer practice. I haven't minded the lack of rushing around, but I am starting to go a little stir crazy. On top of staying home with sick kids, I have been doing it alone. My husband had to work all weekend and then he worked late last night and now it is looking like tonight as well. And maybe this weekend. He hasn't said as much, but he did tell me that the plant co-gen went down so the refinery has no electricity. Kind of important. And they will need him there for the fixing. Regardless I really need to get out of the house tonight. Maybe I can get a walk in before bed.

Anyhoo, back to tylenol and tea and avoiding my chores...

Hey! Are you guys on twitter? If so, why don't you come and find me, I am mightymama1, let's tweet!

Monday, November 02, 2009

Sick day.

Well, the flu has hit my house for the second time this fall. My Monkey boy woke up this morning screaming. He had an awful bad dream and was coughing and screaming that he was covered in blood, and when I turned on the light I saw that he was. He just had a bleeding nose, but he was terrified. When I held him, his little body was on fire. So I put him into a tepid bath to wash off the blood and try to bring down his temp. He won't eat and I have to make him drink, he is just laying lethargically in my bed. Poor guy. Tylenol and fluids are the order of the day and maybe some cuddles and stories and movies.
I am just praying that everyone else stays healthy and that he is well soon.
I definitely don't mind slowing down for the week, staying home and tucking in. We are well into our fall schedule of ballet and soccer, swimming and youth groups, choir and YMCA programs, not to mention school. My house could really use some attention, and I wouldn't mind getting some quiet work done, like crocheting Zed's stocking that never got done or writing or scrapbooking.
So that is where you will find me this week. Tucked in with my babies. Administering soup and stories, Tylenol and snuggles. And saying a large number of prayers for the health of my kids and yours too.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Naptime.

Already this morning, Baby Zed has said 2 new words. Naana for banana, and daa-er for diaper. He is a talker! He talks all day long, every day and when he is not talking he is singing. He brings us so much joy.
Of course there is the whole not sleeping through the night thing. I have only slept through the night a handful of times in the last 14 months. And it is taking a toll on me. I am a wee bit tired and my kids might say I am a bit grumpy. I can feel wrinkles growing on my face from exhaustion. And I have learned how to live on caffeine. Not something I aspired to, but a fact of my life none-the-less. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Baby Zed who was night waking, but it is not. My 4 year old Girly and my 5.8 (he is very exacting about his age) year old Monkey are both still getting up at night occasionally. Most nights there are 2 kids trying to get in my bed around 3 or 4. sigh.
Regardless, I adore them and their sleepy cuddles. I have a hard time booting any of them back to their beds at night, which has probably compounded the problem. I am now trying to make myself get up and put them back to bed, or at least put myself in one of their beds!
I think this sleeplessness has something to do with the not blogging thing, I find it really hard to look at the computer screen or concentrate when my eyeballs are sandy and I have the brain pain (migraines). I have a million posts in my head, but they are not making their way to screen or paper. I may have even forgotten how to write...
I do adore you dear bloggy friends, I hope to see more of you. Sweet dreams all. I plan on taking a nap.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

New, but not.

I was driving home from the airport this morning and was just overcome with my adoration of autumn. The colours made my heart sing. I love the new-oldness of fall. The year is getting to be middle-aged, but it takes on all this gorgeous shading and personality and light. I hope that I will be made newly beautiful as I age, resplendent with graciousness and radiating confidence and joy. My son keeps telling me that at 34.5 I am almost middle aged, so I hope to see some of these fruits soon. You know, stuff other than those random grey strands and crow's feet. I am sure not feeling that new right now...

I do have a new computer though. (how's that for an awkward segue?) It is actually my old laptop with my son's laptop screen. We both had broken laptops, (remember this!) so my dad put them together and now I have a working computer with an intact screen!
Joy of joys! The first thing I did was put Photoshop back on so that I can play with my pictures and scrapbook. I can't wait!

My favourite photo subject is snoring beside me, baby Zed has a bit of a cold and is thankfully taking an extra nap right now. Poor snurgelly guy. We went to take some fall photos in the river valley this past weekend and he has snoogies in every one. nice. What was really nice was that not one photo turned out because not one of my 5 angels were the least bit cooperative. sigh. Oh well, I guess I can just comfort myself with the knowledge that every photo shows who they really are. I will have to share them with you tomorrow, I hope they make you smile.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Birthdays and such.

I figured since it has been so long, photos and cake were in order. So here goes.

September held Superboy and Baby Zed's birthdays. Superboy's was on the third and we had a little family celebration on the day. With my messy but yummy Black Forrest cake, Butter Chicken and Naan Bread.




















Then we had a huge Labour Day bash to celebrate all of our September birthdays. Superboy, Baby Z, 2 Uncles and an Aunt.
Black Forrest cake was once again called for, in size ENORMOUS. Baby Zed had his own yummy cake, with ganache poured over top. The ganache ended up a little thick as I wasn't sure what the 'drip down the sides, but not pour everywhere' consistency would be. Poor thing was almost in sugar shock by the time we wrenched it from his delicious fingers. All the relatives brought food so we had yummy Ukranian along with our BBQ burgers and stuff.
We had an amazing day with our friends and family, what blessings they all are to us.
3 of our birthday celebrants, they span 9 decades!





"Yay! Cake!" Happy 1st Birthday Baby Zed! (the cake is chocolate and blue to match his room)




















"Hmm. Pretty good stuff."























"Yum!" I just wanted to eat him up! But definitely time for a bath and some milk.
















Thanks Grumps! (He usually runs away from Grumps and hides behind my leg, but he gave it a go with Eeyore. It lasted 15 seconds before he yelped for me.












On the ninth, for Baby Zed's real birthday, I tried to cut back on the insulin OD's so I just make some carrot cupcakes. He was just as excited about cake part deux as he was the first time.



But these people, these were the best evah! For Superboy's friend party, I made these cupcakes. I found them on Bakerella's site and they were so very cute. Love!





Thursday, August 20, 2009

15 years

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. That sounds so weird to me. It sounds so old and grown up and I still feel like the teenage bride that I once was. Most of the time anyway.
What an adventure marriage has been, and adulthood for that matter. We have been through so many of life's ups and downs together already. Births (we have 6 kids) and deaths (our 3rd child as well as extended family); marriage and divorce (my parents, soon after our marriage, his dad's); sickness (his mom's breast cancer and others) and health; poorer (living on 1 small income, failed business) and richer (thank goodness we don't have to live on dried pasta and beans anymore!); depression (both of us) and joys (innumerable).
I would love to say that through each roller coaster ride, we clung to each other and supported each other without fail. But that would not be entirely true. There have been times when we have turned our backs to each other, times when we have failed each other, times when we have not chosen to love with God's perfect love. We, as individuals, are not perfect and therefore as a couple, are not perfect. But we have persevered and God has protected us. When one of us felt like giving up, the other was there holding tight and refusing to let go. Refusing to let us fail. When one of us wanted to run away(usually me), the other gently closed the door and held the runner in his arms (usually him). When one of us could not take another step in life, when we felt overwhelmed with grief and circumstance, the other carried us on their backs and prayed us through the darkness.
Regardless of our individual failures, we as a couple have held fast, and with God's grace we have come out the other side stronger and better for it.
Marriage has not been an easy road for either of us, and over the last few years we have struggled often. I knew that we could stay together with God's help, but I had no hope of better than that. I had no idea of the redemption God had in store for us. What it would look like when we both saw each other as God sees us, when we loved each other with His love.
We have a marriage redeemed and sanctified in God. Now that is something worth celebrating! I can barely comprehend the difference in our relationship. I am so thankful for our life together and the man I married. He makes me beautiful, he is dead sexy, he protects and cherishes me and his unconditional love is the greatest gift he could and does give. I hope that I have many more years to show him my love, to be his biggest cheerleader, to give him my greatest respect and to watch our family grow up together.
Honey, I love you, I thank God for you every day, I can't wait to see what the next 60 years have in store for us and how we will succeed as a team. You make me weak in the knees every. single. day. I can't wait to see you tonight, tell you of my love and to be held in your arms once more. Forever and ever, amen.

This post is supposed to have some lovely photos of us taken over the years, but I can't find my darn mini usb cord and the card reader on this thing is broke. So maybe later. Or just maybe I don't have to be humiliated by my nineties hair today.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Oh My Aching Uterus

Have I mentioned my rampant hormones? Or maybe it just has to do with my baby turning 1 in less than a month. But I am starting to mourn the end of my baby years. So much so that I almost begged my hubby for a puppy. I am so not a dog person, so he figured that it must be baby cravings causing these mad ravings.
Then, this weekend, the accident. The dread condom accident. You know the kind, the one where you think you are all protected and stuff and it turns out that the birth control was faulty. Like broken faulty. Crap! and then, to make things worse? You ovulate the next day. And then you realize how insane those baby cravings are, because really? Who on earth could possibly think I could raise 6 kids. Not me! And hopefully no one in heaven does either, because, seriously?
Now I would happily raise a passel of kids. In a bigger house. With domestic help. And maybe if they were not all from my womb. Because my womb? She is tired. And the fear of labour has increased with each pregnancy. Because labour? It hurts. A lot. So.
Here is hoping that if God intends for this old girl to do the baby birthing one last time that he also intends to send a windfall my way, in the shape of a huge house complete with housekeeping and meal making.
Crossing my fingers for the negative pg test,
and crossing my legs until the VASectomy,
your overly fertile friend,
Mighty Morphin' Mama

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Mid-year Resolutions

We are trying some new things around here, like budgets. We are so many and we only have one income, my poor hubby can only work so much! So we are trying to reign in our spending so that we can afford the things we want, like new floors, vacations, books...
Our grocery bills have gotten out of control, what with teenagers and preschoolers that eat like teenagers. I think our biggest problem has been running to the store several times a week rather than meal planning and shopping accordingly. So.
Last week on pay day, I made a trip to Costco for meat and other essentials. I made it out of there having only spent $275! Amazing how much less you spend when you avoid the ready made foods and books,and clothes and other extras. Then I made a hundred dollar trip to the Superstore to get produce and a few other things. I assumed that I would have to make at least one more trip for produce this week as my teen eats 10 pieces of fruit a day at least. But I am going to make it until payday without having to go again. (Well I did make a stop into another store for the specific laundry detergent that we use, but we combined it with another errand.)
This week, I only need a few things like toilet paper, flour, and produce and milk, so I will be way under my allotted weekly grocery budget. Yea! (I was about a hundred over budget this week, but we were out of everything. EVERYTHING. All the overage will be snuck into savings before we can spend it.
We made a deal with the kids last night. We will forgo eating out and fast food and take-out and timmy's and VANILLA BEAN LATTES (oh the humanity!) for 12 months. And the money that we had been spending in that area will go into a vacation account. This was particularly timely as we told them that we will not be going to visit our best friends in Vancouver this year as we had planned. And boy are they motivated. My 11 year old was giving dad the gears about wasting time on the computer and using our electricity. Then he harrassed him about buying a case of Coke until Daddy pointed out that the case of pop for $2 was a huge savings over the $2 bottles of Coke he would be tempted to buy at work.
I am so looking forward to our success in this plan, not only will we take a fun vacation, but we should all be healthier and skinier. Plus, I am super motivated to cook wonderful meals. Last night I even made my hubby his favourite, scalloped potatoes. (I know, so not diet food) Something that I have only made once or twice in our whole married life. oops. I even precooked some things and threw them in the freezer to make life easier. I rawk! Domestic Diva-dom, here I come!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Spam prevention post



I can always tell when it has been too long between posts because the spammers take over my comments!



I still have no computer, I can borrow my kids' computer, but I tend not to bother. I have really felt little urge to have anything to do with the internet. I occasionally check facebook or twitter from my phone, but I haven't even read email in weeks. It is difficult to weed out all the spam from the real emails on the little screen of my phone, so I have basically given up.



Today I decided that it was about time I reconnected. I apologise if you have tried to get a hold of me and have been unable. I will try to get through as much as I can today and throughout the week. I miss my internets!



Life is progressing as usual around here. Kids growing like weeds, my teenager is about to hit 6 feet and my baby is walking. My little Girly is a big 4 year old now, and not my baby anymore. My 5 year old Monkey, on the other hand, is still my baby, and that is the way we both like it. The little three still end up in my bed occasionally, so my sleep is not that much better. On the flipside, Baby Zed is regularly sleeping through the night and will go down for a nap now, even if I put him to bed awake. Yea!



In fact he is napping right now and it is glorious! Well it would be if my 11 and 14 year olds weren't fighting with each other and then huffing and puffing at me. I am in desperate need of a break. If only they would go for a nap.



We are back at renovating, my hubby seems to have got bitten by the bug and progress if finally being made. We took out another wall, and are finally in the process of putting back together. Mudding and taping of the drywall is happening. I have a kitchen plan. I am choosing my finishes! I am so excited about my new kitchen and flooring, I can envision it all in my mind - room to store all our groceries; the ability to open the dishwasher and the stove at the same time; my new patio doors opening onto my huge deck; baby not getting slivers on his toes and knees from plywood floors; baby not finding and eating a hacksaw that his Dad forgot to put away after last nights work... Glorious!






So life as usual at Casa de Mighty. Hope it is for you too, can't wait to catch up with you all.


Here we all are, squinting into the sun at my sister's wedding:)

Happy summer all.







Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Why I may continue to be a crappy blogger:


Girly threw a toy across the room and it hit my laptop screen. I yelped and she said, "But I made Zed laugh!"
Like that made it all okay.
sigh. But I could barely muster any anger, just resignation.
So my screen is hooped. No scrapbooking for me. Even logging on is a crapshoot. I think I will be saving my pennies for a repair or a new laptop. Maybe I can convince my hubby I need a new macbook pro...

What an adventure yesterday was. Girly and I baked cookies and bread and while I was kneading the bread, I knocked a whole gallon of canola oil off of the counter and spilled it all over the floor. And wall. And the exersaucer. The grossest mess evah! Then I put another roast in the oven for supper and today's sandwiches. And I forgot to turn off the oven when I made the 2 hour trip to get the boys from daycamp and their dad from work. Oops!
It was a wee bit dry! And somehow, the rice turned out soggy. Oh, well, no one complained. Well no one but me.
Now I am off to run and get them all again. I am not leaving anything cooking today . And praying that the threatening tornadoes hold off. Don't want to run into any of that action!
I still plan on sharing my weekend with you, including Zed's big news. Which all of you who follow me on facebook or twitter already know...
I look forward to catching up on your lives too, I hear there is some baby news out there...

Monday, July 06, 2009

Supermom?

Wow, it is so quiet around here today. All 3 of my big boys are gone for the week. The two eldest boys, 12 and 14, are camp counselors for the week at our church day camp. And my Monkey Boy (5) is attending the camp, so it is just Girly, Baby Zed and I for the whole week.
By the time I had driven the long, muddy detour home from drop-off this morning, I had a whole laundry list of stuff that I could get done this week while I only had 2 kids. Then I got home and reality hit. No big kids around means that not only do I have to do their chores, I have no one to hold the baby while I get stuff done. And no one to run and open the baby-gates for Girly every 5 seconds. And no one else to blame for the disaster zone that is my house. Sigh. I guess I need to modify my list a little.
When we arrived home last night, I realized that I had nothing to send with my boys for their lunches all week. Home educating usually means that I don't have to worry about such things as packing lunches, so when they do have to take a lunch it is a big deal and I like to make it special. So what did I do all night? I baked. Muffins for breakfast and cookies for their lunch, all while cooking a roast so that they have meat for the their 'peanut free' sandwiches.
I love my hubby, he came in as I was putting the cookies in the oven and remarked that I was a 'supermom'. I was all, "Whatevah! These cookies were from frozen cookie dough I had in my oven..."
And he was all, "Whatevah! We just got back from a very busy weekend out of town and you are making a roast for sandwiches, you made yummy, berry muffins for their breakfast and here you are making cookies so that they have a treat. Anyone could see that you are a supermom!"

I really do love him, he didn't even mention that I totally overcooked the first bunch of muffins (I forgot while dealing with a moody tween) AND the cookies (Baby HAD to nurse when they were almost done). And he didn`t complain when I asked him to put on a load of laundry and he went to the store to get bread and cut up the roast when it came out of the oven at 11pm.
Of course I had to disappoint him when later when I told him that if I had some spare cash, I would have bought the kids Subway for lunch and skipped all the cooking. So much for honesty!

I can hardly believe that I been away from you all for so long. I have missed you so!
Check back later this week to see what I was up to this weekend!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Wednesday is for cuteness.

Look at what my 5 year old can do!
Cutie smartiepants.


Have you ever seen anything cuter?


Monday, May 25, 2009

Girly sings

At bedtime we sing lullabies with our kids. Lately, Girly has volunteered to sing to me after I sing to her. She makes up hilarious, random, disjointed songs.

Last night's installment went something like this:

I don't like you.
I love my mommy so very much.
She is so beautiful,
because she wears nice makeup.
It takes her an hour to wash
it off before bed.
I lo-ve elephants.

There were then some verses about lions and tigers...
Have I mentioned that she is obsessed with my makeup and skin care products? She keeps 'borrowing' things from my room and hiding them in her room. I caught her perusing her stash the other day, she had 3 of my deodorants! No wonder I can never find any.

Another night, her little ditty was a bit more... uh... bloodthirsty:

Sharky don't swim in the fish pool
Sharky don't swim in the fish pool
Sharky don't swim in the fish pool,
And Fishy stay out of the shark pool!

Her imagination is out of control! She tells stories all day long and sings crazy songs, I need to get a little voice recorder and capture some of the cuteness.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Time to be a Family

It is Tuesday after the May long weekend and I am watching the snow fall outside my window. I need to weed my garden, but it is too cold and snowy! It is 9:30 am and I have already been up for 4 hours, had breakfast and some quiet time, a cup of tea, a latte and driven to the airport and back. Baby Zed sang with me and the radio for most of the drive home and then he cried for the last 10 minutes. The singing was really cute.
My hubby has been home for exactly one week today, thank goodness. He has come along with me for my morning walks and we have stopped off for coffee on the way. I am enjoying getting reaquainted. It has been a busy time though, and we haven't really done any fun things with the family yet, maybe today we will go out.
On Thursday, we had a 14 cubic yard garbage bin delivered and we spent the weekend filling it with renovation rubbish and all the junk from our garage and basement. I had no idea that we had so much stuff! I wish I had taken before and after pictures, you would not have believed the messes. We have just been putting stuff away in those places while they waited for more permanent homes and then never got around to it. The dumpster is over-flowing and we have numerous bags and boxes of recycling at the curb and a bunch of things to take to the Goodwill and for freecycle.
My aunt came to the city to meet up with my Mom for a girls' weekend on Thursday. She spent all day Friday with us and we had such a nice visit. Girly would not leave her alone, she was Auntie's little shadow. On Sunday, Mom and Auntie came over for a lobster feast. Our neighbour owns a seafood shop and they had brought in a huge order of fresh, spring lobster and he gave us a sweet deal. Even I liked it and I don't like seafood! We had lobster and garlic butter and tons of bbq-roasted veggies, yum-my. I am going to make a veggie lasagna tonight with the leftovers.
Baby Zed is a completely different kid than when Daddy went away. He was 5 months old and barely sitting and belly crawling then. Now he is eight months and walking around and between the furniture, easily making the transitions between laying, sitting and standing. He is constantly climbing the stairs if allowed, we have to be ever-vigilant of the stair-gates. Oh! hang on...
He was eating playdough. yucky!
He has been saying, "Hi," and "Mom," for quite some time and this weekend he started with the yayaya, dadada, mumumumum, bababas. Love!
He is just so very anxious to be big and to follow his big brothers and sister. I am pretty sure that he will be walking by 9 months. He is already balancing quite well and is pretty impatient with not being able to keep up with the others. My last baby is growing up so very fast. Sigh...
I have been quite content with just being a family again this week, I haven't even thought about hanging out with friends or going out. But it looks like Brent will start a new job tomorrow, and even though it will be close by (30-45 minutes drive), he works 12-14 hour days and often 7 days a week, so we won't see much of him for a while. So we will get back in the swing of life without him around again far too quickly, so I will grab ahold of all the moments with him that I can.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day my lovelies! Have an amazing day. I am already sitting in my bed with my breakfast prepared by my sweethearts. Enjoy your babies today.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

repeat.

He has not been home yet. Every day is supposed to be the day and then the day ends and still no hubby. I kept busy this week, spent some time with friends and in the few rays of sun that broke through the rain. But emotionally, I am exhausted and I feel like I have nothing left. I can`t even read a book, nothing makes any sense as I stare at the pages. I can`t do anything on the computer but stare at the screen. I am trying to build a website, but I can't make heads nor tails of anything.

I did enjoy trying out my new Mary Kay goodies and have given myself two new looks already and made over my girly a few times. She won't leave my stuff alone. Every day I find items from my room, usually cosmetics, hidden away in her room. She is a teensy girly mouse burrowing things away for a distant winter. teenage-hood.

I am going to bed, it has been a very long day and my throat hurts. My eldest had a sleepover last night (hate!) and they were all up all night. At 4:30 am, Baby Zed woke up and the boys were up and then at 7 the littles were up and so were the teens. Crazy. I hope we all sleep soundly and maybe tomorrow will bring my husband. Or at least some sunshine and smiles.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Warning, teary rant ahead.

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
UGH!
WAHHHHH!

...sigh...

I am trying really hard not to burst into tears. I am actually in the middle of cleaning my fridge, so I shouldn't be stopping to write while my groceries sit on the counter getting warm, but UGH!
My hubby has been working up north for about 10 weeks now. It was supposed to be a couple of weeks. And then they promised him a position here in town for a while. A few weeks came and went, and then a few more. The past week or two it looked like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. His new job starts on the 10th they told him. May tenth he would start working a half an hour away rather than 5 or 6 hours away. They said he would have some time off beforehand. He should have been done by today and on his way home to me now.
No. They told him to take a few days off and come back to finish up. Then they want him to start work on another unit up there. What???
He is supposed to be on his way home. For good. Job over.
I am tired. I am done. I held on this far, with the hope of his return this week and now that may be ripped from my hands. I don't want to wait a few more weeks. I want him home now. I don't even want to wait a few more days.
I guess it should be a positive that they want him to stay. He is very good at what he does. He has special skills that no one else up there right now has. They need his skills. But I need him too. I just need a soft place to land at the end of the day, is that too much to ask?

He told them no. He said he would finish what he was working on and they he was coming home. But it is hard, because they hold the keys to the next job. And we can't afford for him to not be employed right now. I guess all I can do is to give it to God.

...sigh...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Bits and Bites

Nearing the end of my reserves (reserves... bwahahahah... snort...ha) today. Baby Zed has been awake around 3:30 am for a few nights, with a poopy bottom and then ready to play. (I think those teeth have been reaking havoc with his bowels) Then the preschoolers had been up at 6, just about when the baby was going back to sleep. Tilerd... Last night, after months of being dry, both preschoolers wet the bed and came nudey bum to my bed in the wee hours. So this morning, I am a wee bit sleepy plus I have 4 extra loads of laundry. Fun.

I think my hubby's job up north is coming to an end, but I still don't know exactly when he will be home. I am mostly okay with that. I am in the groove. I feel capable and able and have almost given up on having a tidy house so that helps.

I live for nap-time. Oh blessed nap-time, when I can feel free for a few moments. Free from constant vigilance for baby's safety, free from being continually entertaining and chatty, and free of being constantly on. He is a lot of work! So much fun, but a lot of work. He does help find all those teensy, lost items that no one has seen in weeks. Guaranteed they will end up in his mouth. The big boys and I got the family room mucked out again this week, Zed kept finding things he shouldn't have, so I insisted on every nook and cranny being cleaned out. I also dug a huge clog out of the vacuum so the carpet is actually clean!

Oh, the washer stopped! I better hop in the shower and then get another load in before baby Zed wakes up. Nap-time is awesome but short!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Boy

My Monkey boy is getting so big! At 5 years old, he is no longer one of the 'babies' as we have always said, but one of the big boys.
The last two nights he has come awake with the proud announcement that he didn't suck his thumb last night! What a big boy, he is stopping that habit all on his own. We bought the puppet months ago to put on when he went to bed as a way to discourage thumb sucking and offer alternative comfort. It wasn't a magical cure, but it did start the ball rolling.
I haven't made a big deal about it, I have let him lead the way, but recently I have noticed his mouth really changing shape from the thumb and I mentioned that to him. As with everything else, he internalized that information and must have come to a decision all on his own. I am so proud!

A couple days ago, we went for pizza with Grandma and Uncle D. The kids played the claw game after with Uncle. You know, the one where they use the claw to try and grab a toy and drop it in the slot. Well, Monkey rocked that claw! He got 3 toys on the first try. When he came out to the van, where I had already buckled in his sister and baby brother, he was psyched! He immediately gave each of his little siblings one of his toys. My heart burst with pride in his sharing and generosity.

Monkey Boy is a really neat kid, he is very affectionate and loving. He is gentle with his baby brother and sensitive to his sister. He longs to be a big guy and hang with his big brothers, he loves wrestling with them and playing video games with them. We call Monkey our Ninja because he runs around high kicking all day long. He never stops moving, except to cuddle with mommy. Which he is doing right now. And therefore reading over my shoulder and editing my post:D He said that the big brothers mostly play video games by themselves and he gets left out.
(Which is a shame because he is everyone's biggest cheerleader. He just ran up to make sure his little sister made it to the potty okay, she was freaking out because she has a tendency to leave it to the last second.)

I love nothing more than to spend some time with my monkey, he always amazes me with his wise questions. He is an expert at delaying bedtime with deep conversation. He is a philosopher in a 5 year old body. He makes my heart ache with love and pride every day. I am such a lucky mommy!

Don't forget to ask me your questions so that I can answer them for my 500th post! Thanks!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Ask me Anything!

Don't forget to ask me your questions so that I can answer them for my 500th post! Thanks!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

April 26, 2002

7 years. Seven years have passed since I gave birth to my oldest daughter. As most of you know, she died in my womb and then we birthed her and held her still body. It was heart-wrenching, but beautiful. The peace that I experienced as I held her little body in my arms was incredible. We miss her, but the ache, the pain is gone. We know that one day we will hold her in our arms again and she will be whole. She will be full of life again, and that is the day that we live for.
Last night, I read through my journal that I wrote at that time. It is full of pain, and tears filled my eyes more than once. But it is also filled with hope and it is filled with the evidence of God working in our lives. God promised to carry us and he did. He held us and comforted us and I am so thankful for every step of our journey. I am thankful for the pain that opened our hearts wider to God and to his creation. To beautiful, hurting people all around us.
I think I will share some of those entries with you in the weeks to come. I will also finish the birth story I started to write a couple years ago. Oops!

Kalila Dorothy, April 26, 2002
Her name means Precious - Gift of God. Kalila is an Arabic term of endearment and Dorothy is my middle name and the first name of both of my Grandmothers, I always planned on giving it to my first born daughter, so I did.

My journal post from the day Kalila was born.

To my precious one,
I have loved you since before I knew you existed. You have been growing inside of me for almost five months. I have thought of you each day with love, hope and excitement as well as with fear and anxiety over the future. When I first felt your stirrings inside of me, it was Easter weekend and we were at Nana's. I felt utter joy - you were real! All the following week (your 18th), when I would sit still in the evenings with your aunties (with your cousins in their tummies), I would feel your movements.
I am so thankful for that time.
At night, your Daddy would talk to you and hug you - we were anxiously awaiting the time when you could hear our voices and we were trying to choose your special lullaby.
On the Monday after you turned 18 weeks old, we went to have an ultrasound done. I was so excited! We all were, we would finally get to see you. When the sonographer was done, she went and got Daddy and your brothers. We saw your beautiful, perfect form, lovely legs and toes, arms and hand. You waved to us, we were so thrilled that you were saying hi to us, but I guess it was good bye. (The boys always talk of her waving good bye. to this day.) That is how the boys remember you. I am so thankful that we had that opportunity to see you and that you knew us already. You heard your brothers playing, and all of our family times and knew our love.
I love you.
We watched you gulping and I imagined you nursing at my breast and greedily gulping. When I saw your heart beating, I was ecstatic, 154 beats per minute. I had been longing to hear that sound, but the sound was off, so we never did hear your heart beat.

Later, after she was born:

I felt such peace as I watched you laying in the bassinet, curled up as if asleep. Holding you in my hand, I just love you. I can't imagine having to wait my entire life to hold you whole and full of life. I long to hold you at my breast and watch you eat, stroke your cheek and whisper sweetness in your ear. I love you so much.
Kalila Dorothy, you are the baby girl I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. Your brothers wished and prayed for a little sister.

Thinking of you my precious daughter and of all the other mommy's who are missing their babies.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Ask and ye shall receive.

Same old, same old around here. Hubby is still away at work. House is still a mess. Baby is still teething. (one tooth through and one almost through) One child is still giving me a hard time about school, every. single. day. They are all still growing up way too darn fast. It just hit me that my eldest will be in grade 10 next year! Here in AB, that is the beginning of high school. I just can't imagine! My grade 10 year still feels like yesterday, how could I have a kid that old?!

Having a lazy Saturday morning, at least I am. The kids did not accomplish much of what I asked of them this week, so I am having them finish up some school. Apparently I am the meanest mom ever and therefore subject to the most insane eye-rolling ever inflicted on a human being.
I do need to catch up on some marking and housework, so I shan't be lazy for long. Unfortunately. I would really like to just spend the day scrapping photos on HM.

So. I have been blogging for a while now and I am at my 500th post! I usually let all these blog-milestones pass by, but I know a lot of you have done a question-answer thing for them and since I seem to be having a hard time writing lately I think having you ask me questions would be a great plan.
So for the next week, I will be collecting your questions and then answering them in a big bloggiversary post for my 500th post. So ask me anything!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

missed bits...

OH! I forgot to mention! Zed is sleeping through the night! From at least 11 til 7, so I am rejoicing. All my other kids were excellent sleepers by about 2 months, and at the latest by 5 months. So this non-sleeping baby was a shocker, but he has got it now. phew! He is even napping.
Oh! And he is drinking from a cup and eating everything in sight and still nursing like a champ. I keep expecting him to plump up a bit, but so far, not so much. He does this really cute biting thing with the rubber spout on his cup, it makes a squeaking sound that makes him laugh. Aw!

My weekly post... *Gasp!*

Well I have started 5 or 6 posts recently that just haven't gotten written, but Mrs. P told me to post something so here I am.
I have a teething baby and we are all just getting over some wicked colds. Poor Zed and Monkey are working on their second, yucky, 2 to 3 week viruses back to back. It has been a fun week! Zed's bottom right tooth has broken through, and the other one is getting there. His gums are swollen and bleeding and he is uncharacteristically miserable. Even in the midst of his horrible cold, he would flash us his face-lighting smile constantly. Today? He has been yelling and crying at me and pulling my hair.
He has had a huge week, he is changing in leaps and bounds. He is starting to creep along the furniture, I can't keep him from pulling up on everything and climbing things. Every time I turn around, he is in the bottom of the exersaucer or on the bottom shelf of something. Each day he spends more time crawling on hands and knees and less on his belly. He learned his second word. When my sister was here last week, he kept waving at her and saying, "Hiyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" No babababa for this guy, right on to the real words. His first word was Mama, of course. It seems as if he has always said, "Maaaaaam," while crying, I can't remember him not doing it. Girly did too.
Zed went to his first hockey game this weekend. I took all of the kids to my nephew's hockey tournament and remembered that though I have missed the kids playing hockey this year, it is a huge pain taking a mobile baby to the arena. Ugh.
Hmm... What else is happening here at casa de mighty? Oh! I know, I have joined my sister as a Mary Kay consultant. What an amazing company, I am thrilled to be associated with them and sharing their products with people. They truly are a company built by women helping women both in business and through the Mary Kay Ash foundation. I am having my debut this weekend and if you ever need anything, let me know!
The weather here is gorgeous, the sun is shining and it is a balmy 18 degrees. Can't wait for my walk, I should step away from my computer and out into the day.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Mid-week check in.

We had an amazing weekend with family, celebrating our savior's resurrection and my birthday on the same day. My Mom even made me the same bunny cake that she made me for my first birthday, so sweet! But today, I am just wrung out. Maybe tomorrow I will have something to give because today I have nothing.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Gratitude

Okay, enough of the whining from me. I didn't even think that my last post was quite so down, but everyone left me such sweet and encouraging comments that I must have sounded like I needed them! (I did!) Thank you guys, you are so sweet and make me feel so encouraged.
I am thankful for you.
I am thankful for irl friends have taken a kid or 2 for a few hours. Who have invited me for coffee or given me a well timed hug. And thankful for friends who have needed me, helping someone else is the best way to not feel sorry for yourself.
I am thankful for my mil who has taken the time to come for lunch with us or drop in and visit while Brent has been gone. She truly loves me and I love her and that is an awesome thing.
I am thankful that my hubby is working, and that his job is allowing us to recover from some difficult financial times.
I am thankful for my hubby and his willingness to do what needs to be done. Even when his wife makes it difficult.
I am thankful for each and every one of my amazing kids. And for the smiles they woke up with after a long night filled with coughing and tears.
I am thankful that I am going to see my mommy and my sisters for my birthday! I bet I will even get cake!
I am thankful for spring sunshine that soaks into my soul as I go for long walks with the kids.
I am thankful for lattes:)
I am thankful that I lost 3lbs last week...
I am so thankful that God's strength is enough to sustain me and his grace covers me in all my failings and weakness.
I could keep going all day, and this exercise is totally changing my outlook on the day, but baby needs me.
What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Free Workshops

Check out the free Heritage Makers Workshops today and Thursday. For more info click here.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Some bits 'o' nothingness.

Girly is hilarious. Tonight she was telling me stories. "Firs o'ball..." (First of all) Most of her story telling involves her sighing and flinging her hair over her shoulder and talking just to hear the sound of her voice. Oh and saying 'Ack-chew-ee,' a lot. Tonight, she was also watching herself in the hallway mirror. hee hee.
She was telling me a story about Jesus dying on the cross and our whole family dying on the cross. She says, "And on page two..." as she pretends to turn the pages of a book.

"And the next story is about Princess 'insert her full 4 names here' who is a ballerina. And there are 3 lions. And they ate me and it really hurt and their breath was so cold that I can't stand it!"
After I stopped giggling, I made my escape before she could rope into listening to any more stories. I still had 4 kids to get to bed!

Baby Zed is going to be 7 months old this week. And just like all my other boys, he can't wait to be big. He is more than a little frustrated with being a baby at this point and considering how smiley and laid back he has been, this has been a hard transition for me. He is constantly grunting and yelling and then he starts in with the whining, you can just see him straining to make his little body do what he wants it to. As of yesterday, he can officially crawl on his hands and knees instead of his army crawl. He can pull to standing on furniture now, instead of just on soft things like him mommy like he was last week. He can even balance himself by holding on and scooch over a step or two. A week or two ago he would just let go and fall over, now he is starting to understand that you have to hold on.
He can sit indefinitely now and use his hands to transition to the floor and he can almost get into a sitting position from laying, but not quite. He can also climb a very small step as he was climbing stacks of mats at the rec centre the other day. With all this moving about, my life has become infinitely more complicated.
You see, I still have plywood instead of flooring on my main floor, so I can't put him down to play there. And he is only happy to play in the Exersaucer or be held for moments at a time. When we take him down to the family room to play on the floor, there are dozens of hazards because that is where the kids toys are and he is always finding stray pieces of Lego and such. And, of course, he is only happy to crawl around there for so long without getting bored. My baby loves to be on the go, he wants constant stimulation and changes of scenery. I am finding that my life is much easier if I take him out a couple times a day.
We have been going for 5 or 6 km walks every day or two, and after we strap the screaming babe in, he laughs for a bit and then naps. Car rides are also helpful in keeping him occupied. All of a sudden, our life seems to revolve around keeping our little tyrant occupied and happy. Oh, and digging things out of his mouth. He had a hairball in there yesterday. Along with a piece of Lego and 3 cheerios. I made the mistake of having his brothers watch him for a bit while I tried to vacuum. My house is a shambles. Courtesy of having nary a free moment to de-dustbunny.
I love my babies and revel in their every milestone, but I am now reminded of why we tend to rush them out of babyhood. This part is hard! Endlessly amusing and rewarding (what is better than great big eyes that light up every time they are turned your way and slobbery, gummy kisses?), but hard.

My hubby is still gone. He was home for 3 days the week before last and seemed intent on making sure I would be happy to see him leave again when the time came. When he did leave, I alternated between inconsolable sobbing and blind fury for 2 whole days. yeah, fun. We then made up and I got back to being capable and independent once again.
He had told me that he would be done and home early this week and we had made plans to go to my Mom's for Easter. His idea actually. But now he is telling me that he may not be back until Saturday and maybe we should cancel or he should meet me there. I promptly lost it. I just could not imagine packing everyone up and going on my own. I have done it before, I know that women do it all the time. But I just feel so overwhelmed and like anything extra would be the straw that breaks me.
I guess I will just have to see what happens. In any event, I need to get the laundry done, the car cleaned out and some shopping done before Friday. Should be a fun-filled week.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Everyday Miracles

Holey potholes batman! Spring is sprung! My poor suspension, between the potholes and the snow ruts in my back alley, I am thoroughly rattled.

It is finally melting and sunny here in the northland.
Two weeks ago, it was melty and then we had a huge snow dump that Saturday night. By Sunday morning, the roads were a total hazard. We were driving to church and it was crazy slippery, with 6 inches of slush on all the roads. We were waiting to turn right out of our neighbourhood when a strange thing happened. The lights changed and I was waiting for a man to finish crossing the street so that I could go. I was worried about maneuvering around him, because berms of snow were preventing him from getting up to the sidewalk and he was inches from my bumper. When he was clear, I took my foot off of the brake and my car rolled backwards an inch. I tried the gas, and... nothing. I looked down at my displays, everything looked fine, so I tried it again. Same thing happened. Then I was really distracted, trying to figure out what was going on. I had put on my hazards so cars would go around me. I soon figured out that the van had stalled. So I turned the key off, restarted the car and waited for the intersection to clear and the lights to change again.

All this time, I was troubleshooting out loud, so my kids could hear what was happening. My son piped up, "Mom, good thing the car stalled then, because that truck went right by us."
"What?"
"That big truck went right by us when you couldn't get the car to go."
"You mean that car that went around us while we were stalled?"
"No, that truck went by in front of us while we had the green light."

Now I am confused. I try to clarify. It turns out that while I was distracted by not hitting the man on the side of the road, and then figuring out what had happened to my car, a truck had run the light. A truck that I didn't see. A truck that very likely would have hit us, me and my 5 kids, while we turned right onto the main artery.

Then I was a bit shaken up, "Wow, God gave us a miracle, eh?" I muttered to myself as I tried to blink back the tears that were gathering in my eyes.

"Wow, God really CAN do stuff, hey Mom, " Monkey boy (5) says from the back row.
"Yes, Monkey, God really can," and does, I thought to myself.

The whole rest of the drive, I valiantly held back the waterworks that kept threatening, breathing prayers of thanksgiving.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Today's Grade: Fail

So by this afternoon, I was done. Done like dinner. Oh wait, dinner wasn't done and I still needed to feed the kids. By 4, I was completely wrung out, crying, yelling, frustrated and defeated. But guess what? Just like every other mom out there, I couldn't actually just give in and be done. Nope, there were kids to be fed. Faces to be washed. Teeth to be brushed. Jammies to be wrangled onto small bodies. Stories to be read. Lullabies to be sung. Prayers to be said. Driving teens around to be done. Chores to be done. More prayers and lullabies. Babies to be nursed and comforted. Repeat.

I took the littles to play group this morning and it was great until poor Monkey got something in his eye that we couldn't seem to flush out. So we went home a few minutes early. I had asked the boys to quickly do their chores while I was gone so that we could go out when I got home. Field trip day!
I bet you can't figure out what happened while I was gone! Nothing. They did nothing.
So I was a bit frustrated, but it was early and I asked them to quickly get them done. By 4 o'clock, they had still not completed the 10 to 15 minutes worth of work I had asked of them. For 5 hours I reminded, scolded, reminded, helped along, reminded, separated fighting kids and tried to get them back on task. By 4, I had resorted to trying to scare Superboy (11) with my loud voice into actually finishing the loading of the dishwasher. I had lost it. I was done.
All I had wanted to do was to take them out for some fun. Instead I waited for them all bloody day. And we did nothing. Well, they fought with each other and chased each other around the house. So that is something.
Now, I had been taking it easy on them this week. No school, very little chores. Giving grace and just dropping everything and taking them for a treat or some fun. Today, all I wanted was to not leave a food mess all over the house. So I asked them to do their regular, every day chore and expected it to be done. I thought, and still think, that if I said we could go when they were done, that I need to hold them to that. You know, consistency, follow-through, all that jazz. Anyhoo... needless to say, it was not one of my finest days.
So by evening, I just couldn't cope anymore. I wanted my hubby home desperately. I still had a laundry list of stuff to do before I could have my peace and quiet, a list I couldn't face, but had to. I so wished that I didn't have to make dinner. I just threw some pasta on to go with the yummy sauce I made yesterday and I took a fork to the leftover chocolate cake.
I spent most of my evening in tears. I still did the bedtime routines and there was something redeeming in that. I made sure that I apologized to each kid for yelling and that I spent some special time with them. I made sure that I let myself enjoy each of them and smiled real smiles at them, even though I was feeling kind of dead inside. My big boys even made me laugh with their boxer shorts polka jig!

I have really been able to feel the presence of God surrounding me and uplifting me in the last 3 weeks that my hubby has been gone. I have intensely felt that it has not been my strength, but God's that has sustained me. And apparently I forgot that today. I forgot to let go. I struggled and fought and tonight as I spoke to my hubby and told him that I needed him to come home NOW, I didn't even want to pray for God to help me again. I just wanted to pray for him to bring my hubby home. I didn't want to need God's strength in this. I just wanted it to be done and over with. But I do. I always need God. I am not strong enough, and my husband is not to carry me. That is for God. And He is enough.

hmm... maybe I learned something afterall...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sweet Child of Mine
















Well that baby of mine slept the whole night through, right until 7 am when Monkey started yelling for me to wipe his bottom. I guess I wasn't the only one being disturbed by our bed-sharing. The temptation to midnight-nurse must have just been too great for him while in such close proximity to the milk bar.














He is starting to take a bit of solid food from me now. He eats cheerios or rice crackers on his own (if his sister will let him!) and will eat a few teaspoons of certain veggies at a time. I just had to keep trying I guess. He will not eat the baby cereal. I wouldn't bother with it at all, but it is fortified with iron that he needs now. I guess I will have to keep trying or find another source of iron for him.














Zed is a goer. He just can't wait to get up and play with those big sibs of his. He can get around the floor pretty quick and is really enjoying bouncing in the exersaucer we got second-hand. He can get bouncing pretty hard and he just screeches with joy.
He adores getting his photo taken, (how can you tell he is my child?) he smiles as soon as he sees that flash go off. Of course, if the camera is out, big sister Girly has to be in the shot too!














His big brothers and sister are amazed with him and smother him with kisses and raspberries. How blessed can one family be?!




For more WordFUL Wednesday go see Angie @ Seven Clown Circus

Monday, March 16, 2009

Too tired for paragraphs.

Random thoughts:

My inner monologue voice keeps transitioning into King Julian's voice lately. I wonder what that says about me?
***

Music is the only thing keeping me together some days. I absolutely can't wait to hop in the car and turn up the stereo and sing at the top of my lungs.
***

I have realized that I am often whiny and selfish. Is me now being hyper-aware of this during every interaction I have, helpful in making a change, or does it just mean that I am completely self-absorbed?
***

My Girly told me tonight that, "One thing that I really love is MY JEWELERY and MY TIARA!" Her tiara, the one that she wears every moment of every day. Everywhere. People get such a kick out of her strutting through the grocery store in her tiara. In the morning when she wakes up, she takes her tiara and her jewels out of the hat box she keeps them in, and immediately puts them on. Just before bed, she returns the jewels to their box for safe-keeping. She is 3. I am a little concerned.
***

I am feeling conflicted at this exact second. I just put Zed to sleep in his own bed beside mine. Every night I battle with that decision. When he is snuggled up beside me, warm and sweet breath on my chest as I gaze upon his pale, round cheek and rose bud lips, I don't want to move him. But I know that when he is in my bed, I do not sleep. I will drowse and rest, but deep sleep does not come. When I put him in his own bed, my arms ache for him and my heart longs to hold him close. For most of the last week, I have kept him with me. But tonight I am utterly exhausted, I barely made it through bedtime with the kids. The reading aloud just about killed me. So I put my baby in his bed, hoping for sleep. And now? I want to rush over and scoop him up and wake him so that I can lay with him in my bed and have his eyes smiling up at me over my breast as he soothes himself into a milky stupor, and then feel his shallow breath on my skin as he drifts off to dreamland. without me.
***

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sockless Sunday

I am really finding that every day is an adventure. Especially when I try to go anywhere with my very large crew. Just getting everyone clean and dressed is quite the thing, my poor kids rarely have socks on their feet when we leave. Oops! I always tell them to put socks on, but I rarely think to check if they have. So we will get somewhere and mine are the poor sockless waifs with uncombed hair. When did that happen? When did I go from being the Mom of the cute, clean and perfectly dressed kids to the Mom of the mismatched, sockless, dirty-faced gaggle? I think it was sometime between babies 4 and 5.
It was about the same time that I had to stop micro-managing my family and let them start getting themselves ready.
It was about the same time that I stopped getting my hair cut, using my blowdryer and putting make-up on. I have become a cliche. An unkempt cliche. An unkempt cliche with nothing to wear. Nothing to wear because she is too chubby for her old clothes and can't seem to find an hour to run to the mall and use her gift cards and buy something to wear.
Yeah.
I haven't gotten my hair cut in a year. It is longer than my bra strap. And my eight grey hairs show. In fact they stand straight up! They are kinky and grey and stand up from my head like some geriatric mohawk. I am starting to look a bit like a comic strip character I think. As soon as my hubby comes home, I am going for a haircut. And highlights to mask the grey. Maybe I will get my nails done! Or buy some clothes! And I am ordering some new makeup and skin care, oh yes I am. I have been using Vaseline as moisturizer for a few weeks, now that is just sad. And when I have managed to put some makeup on, I have been dusting the bottom of my makeup bag for powder, because I am out. And out of foundation. And mascara. And all the good colours of eyeshadow. You know the ones. The ones that run out first and all you are left with is the odd purple that makes you look like you were punched, or the blue that went out with the bouffant.
Oh well, these baby days are fleeting and one day I will have some me time again. Maybe my kids will even have paired socks again. Wouldn't that be the day! (and they wouldn't be shunned at the McD's playplace for pulling their bare toesies out of their rubber boots and climbing on in. Bad Mommy!)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Waiting...

Waiting for my son to finish cleaning the kitchen. I have been waiting for him all week. He is 11 and he tries my patience every.single.day. He and his brother trade dish days. Superboy is M, W, F and The Boy is T, T, Sat. Well, Superboy has not finished his dishes once this week. The consequence is that you then have to do the dishes the next day too. Well, instead of convincing my son that he should maybe get down to his job and get it done, I have spent an extremely frustrating week with a very messy kitchen. Every.single.day.
School has been the same, I don't think he has actually put in a full school day's worth of work once this week. He has spent hours upon hours sitting and avoiding and sneaking off, but not one day just finishing his stuff. Today, he is supposed be finishing yesterday's work. Which is really Thursday's work... Well, actually I let them have Thursday off.
We spent the afternoon going for lunch and then at chapters. We read books and then spent an hour in the Starbucks having a hot bevvy and a cookie. It was so wonderful. I even got them each a book. And I finally bought Monkey a hand puppet to cuddle at night to discourage thumb sucking.
The first night went great, he didn't suck his thumb all night. Last night, not so much. He took it off in defiance apparently. At least that is what I got by the way he told me this morning. Oh well.
After our bookstore adventure, the big boys had Karate, so we dropped them off and headed out to get groceries at Superst0re. Me and the 3 littles. uh huh. I put Zed in the sling, Girly in the cart and had Monkey walk with me. It was okay, Monkey helped a lot. (even though I almost rolled him over with the cart a dozen times as he helped.) Getting the 20lb bag of potatoes into the bottom of the cart was a bit tricky, pushing the cart while slinging a baby who kept trying to turn around and eat the cart was very tricky to do without dropping said baby. But the kids were terrifically behaved, and it all went pretty smoothly. Until I got to the check out and tried to unload and then bag and reload the cart. While carrying baby in the sling. While baby tried to lean out and grab stuff. While working around helpful preschoolers. Not so easy. I was totally huffing and puffing by the time I got to the last bag. I am not sure how I did it, but I eventually got everything back on the cart. The nice man behind me kept telling me not to hurry, relax, everyone understood how hard that was to do. Which was great, but I think it would have been great if someone could have hauled the bag of potatoes or the cases of diapers and wipes onto the cart for me:)
The boy is sleeping today. He had a all-night birthday party last night. We don't usually allow them to spend the night at other people's homes, but he is 14 and feeling a bit lonely lately. So off he went. They did not sleep at all. I just pray he doesn't get sick this time!
Baby Zed is six months old, can you believe it? He is getting around all over the place, getting into everything. It is wonderful! And a wee bit inconvenient. Just a bit. Also? We are apparently passing around a fungus.(thrush) Both of us are screaming in pain when he nurses, and when he stops, my pain doesn't stop. It shoots through my breast like burning daggers for hours after. Ouch!
I just hope the doc can fit us in next week, because this has got to stop. Like soon!

I am still waiting for hubby to have a day off and come home to see us. We are doing okay, I really feel like God is sustaining me and keeping me. I just know I couldn't handle this on my own. Thankfully, I don't have to.

I think I shall take a walk to Starbucks this afternoon. I wish I had some rubber boots, it is so sloppy out, but I should make it if I load the kiddles into the chariot and go. The sun just came out! Have a great weekend!

Friday, March 13, 2009

My Voice

As varied as are my reasons for blogging, are my reasons to not blog. One of the biggest being that I can`t find the space to use the bathroom by myself, never mind finding a half hour to write or the hour or two needed to keep up with my lovely blog friends. And I almost hate to write if I can't read and comment and email with you all.
Another thing that has been inhibiting me is how exposed I sometimes feel. It has become apparent to me that everyone I am acquainted with, reads my blog. It seems like every time I have a conversation with someone, I hear the words, "Oh, yeah, I read that on your blog!"
You did? I did not realize that you read my blog! You have never left a comment or anything!
And though I love that people read, I want them to know what is going on with us, it started to weird me out a little! Because this is mostly a journal, and having a relative stranger read your inner thoughts is one thing, having your family, friends and acquaintances read them is a whole other thing entirely.
So, I think I have reconciled that. I want to be transparent. I want people to really know me, and I think I have something to offer people through my experiences and my faith.
My last reason for my frequent blogging hiatuses(*?) is more problematic, but I think it is easily remedied. I often find it difficult to find my authentic voice when writing. I know that when something I have written resonates with people, it is because I am writing in my voice, from within, where the real me resides. It is when I can write just like I would talk to you if you were sitting write here beside me.
I am sure that no one reads my blog for my excellent grasp of grammar and editing. I know this because I never edit or worry about grammar, because I am writing just as I would speak to you. (And if I took the time to edit, I would never post a blessed thing.)
So I often want to blog, but don't, because my voice seems to be eluding me. And I hate just posting a list of happenings or what have you. If I can't write from a place of who I really am, then why bother?
How can I find my voice every time I try to write? How can I be consistent? Well, I think I have an idea. I need to write every day. I need to be consistent and then the words should flow more easily, don't you think? Writing is like anything else, you need to practice!
What about you? How do you find your voice? What keeps you blogging, day in and day out? Where do you find your inspiration? Inquiring minds NEED to know!

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Yay! It's Monday!

Did I happen to mention that it is 30 below zero C? And blowing snow. It is darn cold. I would definitely have to say that March has come in like a lion. I spent two days last week without a vehicle, as it was so cold my battery died and I couldn't start my car until Grandpa D came to my rescue.

Anyhoo, I am feeling much better today. I had a nice long chat with my sister last night. We haven't talked in ages, we have let our busy lives get in the way, I guess. She is an amazing Mary Kay consultant and had just finished a seminar weekend. She was setting new goals and making plans, very exciting. I am really proud of her for making such a success of her business. Her passion for her company and for women is totally inspiring.

Today is clean up my house day (mostly? folding laundry and scrubbing bathrooms day. Every day is scrubbing bathrooms day, my boys are gross) My girlfriend called and then came to pick up my preschoolers for the morning. Isn't that sweet? Another friend is coming for coffee tomorrow morning and then two of my sisters will be here. And my Dad! The rest of the week is adequately full as well. And when I am busy, I am much less lonely for my hubby. I still miss him terribly, but distraction is good.

I hope you guys have an amazing week, I look forward to chatting with you as the week progresses.
I am totally crying right now. My sister had called a week or two ago and said she would be in town for the weekend (for a conference) in a couple weeks and would like to see us. I wrote it on my calendar for next weekend. Not this weekend. It was this weekend.
Needless to say, I missed her. I even saw the phone number on my phone and listened to the messages. I missed her message and assumed the number was the number of another message that I did hear, that was for my hubby and was someone that I didn't want to talk to, so I didn't even answer.
And in my stupidity, I missed my sister. I so needed to see her. I miss her! I was so very lonesome this weekend and really wanted to talk to her. I haven't seen my sister since last summer, she has never met Zed. And I screwed it up. I miss her!
I was really excited for the coming week, I am going to see my other two sisters on Tuesday and then I thought H would be here from Wed to Sun and that we could visit and maybe shop together. But, I missed her. WAH!
I love you H! I miss you so! I am so sorry that I messed up!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Alone?

So I am doing the single parenting while married thing again. Hubby was laid off a few weeks ago and we have been praying really hard for God's provision and for hubby to be able to stay home. The company that he had been working for called and said that they wanted to send him out of town to work, and since nothing else has come up, Brent left on Sunday to go up north.
I thought I would be fine. That I could handle it. God is here, he is taking care of me. But it is hard. I feel overwhelmed most of the time. It is so noisy here! And I can't sleep! and I have been having migraines. Last night I just wept, wishing someone would come and just hold the baby for a few minutes and give me a break. It has only been 3 days!
Sometimes the everyone needing me, every moment of every day, touching me, whining at me, climbing into my bed at 3 am, when I was finally drifting off to sleep, and then bickering with each other all day while I try not to blow my top and pull out my hair, gets to me.
(Speaking of hair, remember all that hair I lost? It is coming back. Grey. I have all these inch long, wiry, grey hairs sticking up all over my head. I had no grey at all until this last pregnancy. ugh.)
I feel a bit whiny, but this is where I am. I know it is temporary, I keep telling myself this. I know God will carry me. Us. I know there are so many women in the same spot, many of them for much longer and under much scarier circumstances, like those with spouses in the military. But I just want my hubby home. The last 6 months to a year have been an incredible time of growth for us, we are in a wonderful and hopeful place in our relationship and family and I want that to continue. God's blessings are so evident in our life, but I still get worried and scared sometimes.
Thank you God for your provision and abundant blessings and please bring my hubby home safe. Soon.
*edited to add:
Part of my difficulty in his absence is the realization that we are finally finding our rhythm together again. After years of his working out of town off and on; after years of heartaches and upheavals; years of trying to make a go of a business and then letting it go; after years of having babies and even losing one; after all this, I finally feel like we are on the same page, drawing together and drawing closer to God. Not that we have arrived, by any means. But that we are walking in sync, at the beginning of a new path and now we are separated. And I question the wisdom in this. Could this possibly be God's path for us or are we heading off on our own again? Are we letting God, or are we trying to fix it on our own.
It is one thing for me, I just have to stay here and take care of the kids. But what about my husband? The weight of these decisions weighs on him. He wants to be here with us, but he also wants us to have a roof over our heads and food to eat. He desires to walk in God's will, but to do that he has to act and trust that he is making the right decisions. And then he has me at home, crying on the phone and then he questions himself.
I think that by making the best of the opportunities presented to us, being present and open God's direction and remembering to rest in Him, we shall be fine. I need to stop struggling and start trusting.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Mama Guilt Alert!

So I took the kids to the eye doctor today. Well, not only did I find out that I haven't taken them in 3 years (oops!) she also told me that Superboy should have some reading glasses. I took him numerous times, telling the eye doctor that he seemed to be having a lot of trouble focusing during his bookwork and rubbed his eyes and seemed to get headaches. He has a bit of strabismus in one eye, it wanders a bit. The doc kept giving us exercises and saying that his problem was from the strabismus. He also said that he was a bit far-sighted, but all kids are and it shouldn't be a problem.
I kept telling my hubby that I wanted to take him somewhere else and get someone to listen to me. We never did. Hence my guilt. My instincts were right and I didn't didn't listen to them. And I am sure that this has contributed greatly to our school issues with Superboy. Math and writing have been huge sore spots and after a while I just thought he was being disobedient, which was part of it. But I think that it was so hard for him to focus that it created a bad habit in him.
This optometrist said that he really seems to have trouble focusing and even though his prescription is very, very slight, it may make a difference for him in reading and close up work.
Now I am praying that the glasses will help and that we can create some new habits and a positive attitude about school.

Spring comes early...

At least on my new blog header! I whipped this up the other day to refresh things around here, I had the old one since I started this blog 3 years ago...
All the elements I used are from the Delightful collection by Gina Marie Huff from Weeds and Wildflowers

Friday, February 27, 2009

Just checking in...

We are all fine and well and dandy. Life has kind of rushed in and overwhelmed me and I am finding that time is a precious commodity these days. And blogging has become difficult as opposed to enjoyable; another thing on my to do list, as opposed to the lovely break it had been. I have actually been avoiding my computer a lot...
Even though my words have stopped coming, I have still needed to express myself in some way. I managed to do a lot of scrapbooking this month, if you want to have a look, it is all over at immortality art or over on my facebook.
I have not forgot about you, my lovely blog friends. You have been in my heart and mind, I know some of you have really been struggling lately and I have truly been praying for you.
I hope to get back in the habit of blogging and building relationships with you in this coming month, thank you guys for remembering me and checking in, I so appreciate your friendships.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

My Name is Mud...

'Mudder,' that is. After months of adorable 'Mama's,' my Girly has now started calling me Mudder. "Right, Mudder?" "Did you know, Mudder?" "Get me a snack, Mudder!"
Uh huh.

My Monkey got his first pet last week. My sis bought him an adorable little fish tank for Christmas, and we finally set it up. The little turquoise beta he picked has got to be the most phlegmatic creature on this planet! I have never met a more boring pet. He just sits on the bottom of the tank, utterly still, and just when you are about to flush him, he swims to the top for a nice gulp of O2.
I think we will get a mirror for the tank and put it in occasionally so we get to see his beautiful fins flare up, but not too often, it is stressful for him!

Life here is beautifully boring, thank goodness. The weather is gorgeous, making it that much easier to get out and about. The kids have new activities starting and new friends to hang out with, and so do we. I feel like it is the beginning of spring here, even though I know we have some real winter to go through still.
Here is a baby fix for you all, me and my gorgeous boy! Kit from we are storytellers.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Tuesday News

Ack! Sorry internets, I have not been absent on purpose. We are all well and fine, just running around like headless chickens. We moved the Monkey boy out of the nursery this weekend and tackled the dreaded family room. Yikes what a mess that was. And Girly had left a leaky milk cup in a bin for a couple days and the smell, oh.my.goodness. the smell! So this is just a quick update as we are on our way to the museum for the day.

Anyhoo, the worst part of my doctors appointment was when the, overweight herself, receptionist said, "Oh and you are, of course, a Mom care (maternity) patient?" Confirming that yes, my belly is still so big that I look obviously pregnant. Even with my 4 month old baby next to me. Nice.

So my thyroid, blood sugar and iron were all good. Doc diagnosed my tiredness as 'not getting enough sleep', 'having 5 kids', and 'not taking care of herself', to the first year med student she had with her. The student that asked me dumb questions like, "Are there things that make your symptoms better or worse?"
I was like, "Theoretically? Like if I slept for 8 hours, I might feel less tired... or if I wasn't awakened by kids 6 times per night... But the hair loss, doesn't seem to be anything that changes that..."
Of course, then I got to ask him some questions, like why did it take him 3 extra years of school to get into the MD program... he he he, poor guy:)

Doc also said that it could take up to a year for the hair loss to abate, that life changes/stress often cause hair loss, on top of the hormonal things. Which I knew.

Anyway, one of the other tests she did came back with abnormal results, so I am in for more blood tests and ultrasound. I won't be able to get in for the ultrasound for a couple months, so I am just praying that God will give me peace in the mean time. I really don't need two months of stewing and worrying. I am also praying that if it is something that needs attention right away that God will rush the health care system along a bit. My God is big enough for all my needs and he has me in his arms, so I needn't worry. I just keep reminding myself of that!

As for Becky's baby, she is doing well and is at home. They are still awaiting their specialist appointment to go over her test results, so keep them in your prayers. Becky and her family need some peace and assurance!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Girls, Girls, Girls

Thankfully this week has flown by, today is my doctor's appointment and now that my mind and google have filled me with trepidation, I get the real scoop.

The weather is crazy here, it snowed all morning yesterday and rained all afternoon. The roads are awful. I had to drive hubby to work this morning so I could make my appointment and it was fine until we got past the neighbouring city. There were 3 or 4 cars in the ditch in a 2 km stretch. As in, had just left the road and gone into the ditch, police on scene. Needless to say I was white knuckling it after I dropped off Brent. I hate winter highway driving in the dark!

The boys had a great time at Karate yesterday, they found the transition quite easy. Monkey would really like to go, but he is too young. So disappointed.
Baby Zed is miserable this morning, not sure what is up, right now he is sobbing in his sleep. So sad!
Girly has been hilarious lately. Every time I turn around, she has her shirt up and bear on her chest. "I'm bwest feedin' bear mommy!" She loves to nurse bear. The funniest is when we are out and she is wearing a dress and decides that bear needs a little somethin'-somethin'. She just yanks her dress up around her neck and nurses bear. Can you tell that she really relates to me? "We are the only girls, right mommy?" or "We love each other, right mommy?" or "You and me are just alike, right sister-mommy?" I guess we girls have to stick together!

Oh, Please keep Becky in your prayers. Her baby girl, Amelia, is here and doing well, but they received some scary news and are awaiting more test results today.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

When lives collide

I was going to post about how well I am doing today with the sugar thing. I did great yesterday and today, other than absently eating a fruit loop from my son's breakfast dessert (I won't let them eat sugar cereal for breakfast, but since their dad bought fruit loops, I let them have a small bowl after a healthy breakfast). Right now however? I am totally craving sugar! I poured myself a cup of tea and immediately my mind did a mental inventory of my cupboards, looking for a treat.

But so far, so good.

After a fall of taking it easy, our schedule is becoming quite full all of a sudden. Both my hubby and I, seem to have simultaneously decided to get more involved at church. We have signed up for small groups, for a 'Guess Who's Coming to Dinner' event, Karate at church for the kids (and maybe me?), a men's event, a Marriage Seminar, Youth Convention, and are making an effort to reach out a bit. The Karate is a trial. The boys would really like to go back to Tae Kwon Do, but we haven't figured out how to make it fit our new budget yet. Our church runs a Karate class once a week and at a very reasonable price, and it is the same night as the adult floor hockey night that Brent would like to attend. Superboy is quite excited to give this a whirl, his belly buddy also attends. (His mom is Brent's oldest friend and the boys were born on the same day.)

Our church seems to be attracting people from our past lives. A number of couples that Brent grew up with, now attend here. A few people we knew from college are also regulars. And more recently, people I knew growing up are attending. People I knew when I lived 800km away in another province! Last week I looked over to see a familiar face. No longer boyish and a tiny bit rounder, but one I knew. One I had once kissed. So weird. An old youth group friend and his beautiful wife and teensy, darling boy. It felt a bit weird to introduce our spouses and chat after um... 17 years?!? He was never my boyfriend, but as the only girl and boy our ages in the youth group, we did test the waters a little bit. So to speak.

It was a first for us. Brent had no previous girlfriends for me to meet and my dating experience took place mostly in junior high, and was sooooo junior high. So we had very little dating past to share with each other and an no real exes to introduce to each other. But after a second of awkwardness on my part, it was all good. Brent was inviting N out to some men's events and S and I were exchanging numbers. They recently moved to a near-by town and really like our church, so they will likely keep attending. I think I shall call up his wife next week and invite her to mom's morning out. Time for me to go back there anyway. And I would love a new friend.

Hey there dear internet friends, please say a prayer for Aunt Becky today, she is being induced and should have a darling baby girl to show off any time now.