Thursday, April 30, 2009

Bits and Bites

Nearing the end of my reserves (reserves... bwahahahah... snort...ha) today. Baby Zed has been awake around 3:30 am for a few nights, with a poopy bottom and then ready to play. (I think those teeth have been reaking havoc with his bowels) Then the preschoolers had been up at 6, just about when the baby was going back to sleep. Tilerd... Last night, after months of being dry, both preschoolers wet the bed and came nudey bum to my bed in the wee hours. So this morning, I am a wee bit sleepy plus I have 4 extra loads of laundry. Fun.

I think my hubby's job up north is coming to an end, but I still don't know exactly when he will be home. I am mostly okay with that. I am in the groove. I feel capable and able and have almost given up on having a tidy house so that helps.

I live for nap-time. Oh blessed nap-time, when I can feel free for a few moments. Free from constant vigilance for baby's safety, free from being continually entertaining and chatty, and free of being constantly on. He is a lot of work! So much fun, but a lot of work. He does help find all those teensy, lost items that no one has seen in weeks. Guaranteed they will end up in his mouth. The big boys and I got the family room mucked out again this week, Zed kept finding things he shouldn't have, so I insisted on every nook and cranny being cleaned out. I also dug a huge clog out of the vacuum so the carpet is actually clean!

Oh, the washer stopped! I better hop in the shower and then get another load in before baby Zed wakes up. Nap-time is awesome but short!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Boy

My Monkey boy is getting so big! At 5 years old, he is no longer one of the 'babies' as we have always said, but one of the big boys.
The last two nights he has come awake with the proud announcement that he didn't suck his thumb last night! What a big boy, he is stopping that habit all on his own. We bought the puppet months ago to put on when he went to bed as a way to discourage thumb sucking and offer alternative comfort. It wasn't a magical cure, but it did start the ball rolling.
I haven't made a big deal about it, I have let him lead the way, but recently I have noticed his mouth really changing shape from the thumb and I mentioned that to him. As with everything else, he internalized that information and must have come to a decision all on his own. I am so proud!

A couple days ago, we went for pizza with Grandma and Uncle D. The kids played the claw game after with Uncle. You know, the one where they use the claw to try and grab a toy and drop it in the slot. Well, Monkey rocked that claw! He got 3 toys on the first try. When he came out to the van, where I had already buckled in his sister and baby brother, he was psyched! He immediately gave each of his little siblings one of his toys. My heart burst with pride in his sharing and generosity.

Monkey Boy is a really neat kid, he is very affectionate and loving. He is gentle with his baby brother and sensitive to his sister. He longs to be a big guy and hang with his big brothers, he loves wrestling with them and playing video games with them. We call Monkey our Ninja because he runs around high kicking all day long. He never stops moving, except to cuddle with mommy. Which he is doing right now. And therefore reading over my shoulder and editing my post:D He said that the big brothers mostly play video games by themselves and he gets left out.
(Which is a shame because he is everyone's biggest cheerleader. He just ran up to make sure his little sister made it to the potty okay, she was freaking out because she has a tendency to leave it to the last second.)

I love nothing more than to spend some time with my monkey, he always amazes me with his wise questions. He is an expert at delaying bedtime with deep conversation. He is a philosopher in a 5 year old body. He makes my heart ache with love and pride every day. I am such a lucky mommy!

Don't forget to ask me your questions so that I can answer them for my 500th post! Thanks!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Ask me Anything!

Don't forget to ask me your questions so that I can answer them for my 500th post! Thanks!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

April 26, 2002

7 years. Seven years have passed since I gave birth to my oldest daughter. As most of you know, she died in my womb and then we birthed her and held her still body. It was heart-wrenching, but beautiful. The peace that I experienced as I held her little body in my arms was incredible. We miss her, but the ache, the pain is gone. We know that one day we will hold her in our arms again and she will be whole. She will be full of life again, and that is the day that we live for.
Last night, I read through my journal that I wrote at that time. It is full of pain, and tears filled my eyes more than once. But it is also filled with hope and it is filled with the evidence of God working in our lives. God promised to carry us and he did. He held us and comforted us and I am so thankful for every step of our journey. I am thankful for the pain that opened our hearts wider to God and to his creation. To beautiful, hurting people all around us.
I think I will share some of those entries with you in the weeks to come. I will also finish the birth story I started to write a couple years ago. Oops!

Kalila Dorothy, April 26, 2002
Her name means Precious - Gift of God. Kalila is an Arabic term of endearment and Dorothy is my middle name and the first name of both of my Grandmothers, I always planned on giving it to my first born daughter, so I did.

My journal post from the day Kalila was born.

To my precious one,
I have loved you since before I knew you existed. You have been growing inside of me for almost five months. I have thought of you each day with love, hope and excitement as well as with fear and anxiety over the future. When I first felt your stirrings inside of me, it was Easter weekend and we were at Nana's. I felt utter joy - you were real! All the following week (your 18th), when I would sit still in the evenings with your aunties (with your cousins in their tummies), I would feel your movements.
I am so thankful for that time.
At night, your Daddy would talk to you and hug you - we were anxiously awaiting the time when you could hear our voices and we were trying to choose your special lullaby.
On the Monday after you turned 18 weeks old, we went to have an ultrasound done. I was so excited! We all were, we would finally get to see you. When the sonographer was done, she went and got Daddy and your brothers. We saw your beautiful, perfect form, lovely legs and toes, arms and hand. You waved to us, we were so thrilled that you were saying hi to us, but I guess it was good bye. (The boys always talk of her waving good bye. to this day.) That is how the boys remember you. I am so thankful that we had that opportunity to see you and that you knew us already. You heard your brothers playing, and all of our family times and knew our love.
I love you.
We watched you gulping and I imagined you nursing at my breast and greedily gulping. When I saw your heart beating, I was ecstatic, 154 beats per minute. I had been longing to hear that sound, but the sound was off, so we never did hear your heart beat.

Later, after she was born:

I felt such peace as I watched you laying in the bassinet, curled up as if asleep. Holding you in my hand, I just love you. I can't imagine having to wait my entire life to hold you whole and full of life. I long to hold you at my breast and watch you eat, stroke your cheek and whisper sweetness in your ear. I love you so much.
Kalila Dorothy, you are the baby girl I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. Your brothers wished and prayed for a little sister.

Thinking of you my precious daughter and of all the other mommy's who are missing their babies.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Ask and ye shall receive.

Same old, same old around here. Hubby is still away at work. House is still a mess. Baby is still teething. (one tooth through and one almost through) One child is still giving me a hard time about school, every. single. day. They are all still growing up way too darn fast. It just hit me that my eldest will be in grade 10 next year! Here in AB, that is the beginning of high school. I just can't imagine! My grade 10 year still feels like yesterday, how could I have a kid that old?!

Having a lazy Saturday morning, at least I am. The kids did not accomplish much of what I asked of them this week, so I am having them finish up some school. Apparently I am the meanest mom ever and therefore subject to the most insane eye-rolling ever inflicted on a human being.
I do need to catch up on some marking and housework, so I shan't be lazy for long. Unfortunately. I would really like to just spend the day scrapping photos on HM.

So. I have been blogging for a while now and I am at my 500th post! I usually let all these blog-milestones pass by, but I know a lot of you have done a question-answer thing for them and since I seem to be having a hard time writing lately I think having you ask me questions would be a great plan.
So for the next week, I will be collecting your questions and then answering them in a big bloggiversary post for my 500th post. So ask me anything!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

missed bits...

OH! I forgot to mention! Zed is sleeping through the night! From at least 11 til 7, so I am rejoicing. All my other kids were excellent sleepers by about 2 months, and at the latest by 5 months. So this non-sleeping baby was a shocker, but he has got it now. phew! He is even napping.
Oh! And he is drinking from a cup and eating everything in sight and still nursing like a champ. I keep expecting him to plump up a bit, but so far, not so much. He does this really cute biting thing with the rubber spout on his cup, it makes a squeaking sound that makes him laugh. Aw!

My weekly post... *Gasp!*

Well I have started 5 or 6 posts recently that just haven't gotten written, but Mrs. P told me to post something so here I am.
I have a teething baby and we are all just getting over some wicked colds. Poor Zed and Monkey are working on their second, yucky, 2 to 3 week viruses back to back. It has been a fun week! Zed's bottom right tooth has broken through, and the other one is getting there. His gums are swollen and bleeding and he is uncharacteristically miserable. Even in the midst of his horrible cold, he would flash us his face-lighting smile constantly. Today? He has been yelling and crying at me and pulling my hair.
He has had a huge week, he is changing in leaps and bounds. He is starting to creep along the furniture, I can't keep him from pulling up on everything and climbing things. Every time I turn around, he is in the bottom of the exersaucer or on the bottom shelf of something. Each day he spends more time crawling on hands and knees and less on his belly. He learned his second word. When my sister was here last week, he kept waving at her and saying, "Hiyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" No babababa for this guy, right on to the real words. His first word was Mama, of course. It seems as if he has always said, "Maaaaaam," while crying, I can't remember him not doing it. Girly did too.
Zed went to his first hockey game this weekend. I took all of the kids to my nephew's hockey tournament and remembered that though I have missed the kids playing hockey this year, it is a huge pain taking a mobile baby to the arena. Ugh.
Hmm... What else is happening here at casa de mighty? Oh! I know, I have joined my sister as a Mary Kay consultant. What an amazing company, I am thrilled to be associated with them and sharing their products with people. They truly are a company built by women helping women both in business and through the Mary Kay Ash foundation. I am having my debut this weekend and if you ever need anything, let me know!
The weather here is gorgeous, the sun is shining and it is a balmy 18 degrees. Can't wait for my walk, I should step away from my computer and out into the day.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Mid-week check in.

We had an amazing weekend with family, celebrating our savior's resurrection and my birthday on the same day. My Mom even made me the same bunny cake that she made me for my first birthday, so sweet! But today, I am just wrung out. Maybe tomorrow I will have something to give because today I have nothing.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Gratitude

Okay, enough of the whining from me. I didn't even think that my last post was quite so down, but everyone left me such sweet and encouraging comments that I must have sounded like I needed them! (I did!) Thank you guys, you are so sweet and make me feel so encouraged.
I am thankful for you.
I am thankful for irl friends have taken a kid or 2 for a few hours. Who have invited me for coffee or given me a well timed hug. And thankful for friends who have needed me, helping someone else is the best way to not feel sorry for yourself.
I am thankful for my mil who has taken the time to come for lunch with us or drop in and visit while Brent has been gone. She truly loves me and I love her and that is an awesome thing.
I am thankful that my hubby is working, and that his job is allowing us to recover from some difficult financial times.
I am thankful for my hubby and his willingness to do what needs to be done. Even when his wife makes it difficult.
I am thankful for each and every one of my amazing kids. And for the smiles they woke up with after a long night filled with coughing and tears.
I am thankful that I am going to see my mommy and my sisters for my birthday! I bet I will even get cake!
I am thankful for spring sunshine that soaks into my soul as I go for long walks with the kids.
I am thankful for lattes:)
I am thankful that I lost 3lbs last week...
I am so thankful that God's strength is enough to sustain me and his grace covers me in all my failings and weakness.
I could keep going all day, and this exercise is totally changing my outlook on the day, but baby needs me.
What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Free Workshops

Check out the free Heritage Makers Workshops today and Thursday. For more info click here.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Some bits 'o' nothingness.

Girly is hilarious. Tonight she was telling me stories. "Firs o'ball..." (First of all) Most of her story telling involves her sighing and flinging her hair over her shoulder and talking just to hear the sound of her voice. Oh and saying 'Ack-chew-ee,' a lot. Tonight, she was also watching herself in the hallway mirror. hee hee.
She was telling me a story about Jesus dying on the cross and our whole family dying on the cross. She says, "And on page two..." as she pretends to turn the pages of a book.

"And the next story is about Princess 'insert her full 4 names here' who is a ballerina. And there are 3 lions. And they ate me and it really hurt and their breath was so cold that I can't stand it!"
After I stopped giggling, I made my escape before she could rope into listening to any more stories. I still had 4 kids to get to bed!

Baby Zed is going to be 7 months old this week. And just like all my other boys, he can't wait to be big. He is more than a little frustrated with being a baby at this point and considering how smiley and laid back he has been, this has been a hard transition for me. He is constantly grunting and yelling and then he starts in with the whining, you can just see him straining to make his little body do what he wants it to. As of yesterday, he can officially crawl on his hands and knees instead of his army crawl. He can pull to standing on furniture now, instead of just on soft things like him mommy like he was last week. He can even balance himself by holding on and scooch over a step or two. A week or two ago he would just let go and fall over, now he is starting to understand that you have to hold on.
He can sit indefinitely now and use his hands to transition to the floor and he can almost get into a sitting position from laying, but not quite. He can also climb a very small step as he was climbing stacks of mats at the rec centre the other day. With all this moving about, my life has become infinitely more complicated.
You see, I still have plywood instead of flooring on my main floor, so I can't put him down to play there. And he is only happy to play in the Exersaucer or be held for moments at a time. When we take him down to the family room to play on the floor, there are dozens of hazards because that is where the kids toys are and he is always finding stray pieces of Lego and such. And, of course, he is only happy to crawl around there for so long without getting bored. My baby loves to be on the go, he wants constant stimulation and changes of scenery. I am finding that my life is much easier if I take him out a couple times a day.
We have been going for 5 or 6 km walks every day or two, and after we strap the screaming babe in, he laughs for a bit and then naps. Car rides are also helpful in keeping him occupied. All of a sudden, our life seems to revolve around keeping our little tyrant occupied and happy. Oh, and digging things out of his mouth. He had a hairball in there yesterday. Along with a piece of Lego and 3 cheerios. I made the mistake of having his brothers watch him for a bit while I tried to vacuum. My house is a shambles. Courtesy of having nary a free moment to de-dustbunny.
I love my babies and revel in their every milestone, but I am now reminded of why we tend to rush them out of babyhood. This part is hard! Endlessly amusing and rewarding (what is better than great big eyes that light up every time they are turned your way and slobbery, gummy kisses?), but hard.

My hubby is still gone. He was home for 3 days the week before last and seemed intent on making sure I would be happy to see him leave again when the time came. When he did leave, I alternated between inconsolable sobbing and blind fury for 2 whole days. yeah, fun. We then made up and I got back to being capable and independent once again.
He had told me that he would be done and home early this week and we had made plans to go to my Mom's for Easter. His idea actually. But now he is telling me that he may not be back until Saturday and maybe we should cancel or he should meet me there. I promptly lost it. I just could not imagine packing everyone up and going on my own. I have done it before, I know that women do it all the time. But I just feel so overwhelmed and like anything extra would be the straw that breaks me.
I guess I will just have to see what happens. In any event, I need to get the laundry done, the car cleaned out and some shopping done before Friday. Should be a fun-filled week.