Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Bad wifey.

My house is a bit of a shambles, the kids are all sick, I feel completely blah. I am actually watching television tonight-haven't in ages. After having a bunch of company like this past weekend, all the preparing and even the stress of the event itself, I find myself exhausted and drained. I work to make the house look right, have everything just so, and then after there is such a mess. I hate dealing with that. I always need a day to de-stress, do nothing before I can face getting back into my schedule. So today should have been my day to get back on track. I didn't.
My children were just miserable today, sniffly, whiny, testy with each other. My dh was supposed to be off today, so we stayed up late last night and I was looking forward to his help getting everything back on track. He woke up with the blinding headache I had on Tuesday. Complete with the overwhelming nausea and vomiting. I am the worst wife, I was so angry with him. I just wanted him to be well, to get up and give me a hand. So selfish am I. All I could think is that the day before I felt exactly the same way. I got up, fed the kids, taught school, made lunch, nursed sickies, fed them all supper, etc., etc. I did not get to stay in bed, in the dark, completely left alone by all. Even if I had stayed in bed, I would have had at least 2 little ones climbing on me. anyway.
I was not a gracious, kind wife this morning. I was a bit of a biotch. I felt a lot of guilt and quickly got over my disappointment, apologized and let him get some rest. He did get up and come with us to the Science centre field trip this afternoon, even helped get the little ones dressed, so I was thankful for that. He is a good, patient and giving man:) It is good that he slept, cuz he had to go to work tonight. Dh just started a new contract that will require very long hours at off-times, meaning I am completely on my own for a bit.
So my house is still a mess. I still haven't marked the kids schoolwork. I am sitting on my widening arse watching tv instead of exercising or marking or cleaning or even scrapbooking. Tomorrow I will get my but in gear and my house in order. Right now, I am thinking I want a piece of chocolate.

1 comment:

  1. What an honest, real and vulnerable post....I LOVED it!!! It's so encouraging to know that other women feel like I do some days. No it's not pretty but it's real. And you know what we get back on track so big deal if one night we sit on our bums, eat chocolate and watch TV, sounds good to me!! Thanks for the honest post, you encouraged me!!

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