Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Bad Mother

My little monkey boy has had a rough couple months. He has more scars on his face right now than any of the others have had in their lifetimes. In September he fell into the radiator at the Science centre and cut open his eyebrow, the scar from his cut and stitches is still an angry red gash above his eye. A couple weeks later his brothers set up a little ramp and were rolling croquet balls up it. Little brother was peeking over the top of it and watching as they rolled that heavy ball right into his face. I think his brothers were missing their brains that day, or their eyeballs. argh. Black eye with a cut under the eye. Poor thing!
On Friday, Juju and girly were fighting over some toys. She picked up a 3 lb weight plate for my dumbbells and hit him right in the mouth. He put 3 teeth through his lips, chipped the corner off of one of his front teeth, and bent one tooth backward a bit. My poor little guy, he was balling so hard, bleeding everywhere and his little monster of a sister was p.o.'ed that I was cuddling him.
I took him up to my bed with a cold cloth and some stories and she was so jealous that I was paying attention to him and was upset with her. She was climbing up on the bed so I reached to help her, but she yelled, "NO!" at me and got down. Then she tried to climb up again and when I asked her if she wanted me to help her she yelled, "I HATE YOU!" and ran away.
She is 2!!! She hates me already?! What is that?!
She did come and cuddle with us then, but my word, what am I gonna do with her? The attitude! The utter brattiness! The brother abuse!
My little Monkey boy seems to have recovered, but his smile is forever changed. He definitely looks all 'rough and tumble' boy. Scars and broken teeth, little bruised shins, and running full out every moment of the day. His big brothers were watching Transformers with him the other day while we were still in bed. Not really appropriate viewing for 3, I know. Anyway, now he has the run, slide, and shoot toy gun move down pat. Josh Duhamel does this move in the movie and slides under one of the transformers. My Juju has been practicing this all weekend. I was both horrified and amazed at this new skill as he ran around with his brothers and their friend playing battle games for the last 2 days. Boys really will be boys. ugh.
Man, as I read this over I realize that I sound like a terrible mother. Daughters running amok, being complete brats, sons playing war and watching inappropriate TV, injuries galore. Yikes!
But I do discipline this bratty daughter and pray she will turn out okay;) I do cuddle my poor injured son and make his booboos feel better. I do teach them all how to play safely. My sons do understand about real war, have studied them in-depth, and understand the difference between play and violence. I do severely restrict what they watch on tv and play in their video games.
But I also let them play and explore, I have learned to step back and let them go. I used to be so worried about everything, I used to hang on so tightly. I was so afraid they would get hurt or lost or stolen. I didn't want them to ever play with weapons or be exposed to anything that could be remotely construed as inappropriate. I didn't really know how to let them be kids and let them be boys.
I am learning to give them wings and let them fly. They have to fall if we want them to walk. They have to be allowed to make mistakes and fail if we want them to be successful adults. I want them to go into the world with the confidence to try and the knowledge that a failure is just another step on the way to success. That you can learn from your mistakes and move on.
A full life is worth a few scars along the way.


  1. You're not a bad mother. My goodness you manage to raise four beautiful children, home school them and stay sane. You're a saint.

  2. GOOD writing! This was a very well-written post and so cute. Although I feel so sorry for your poor, accident-prone son. My little brother was like that (and still is--even as a helicopter pilot in Iraq). I bet he looks cute with his rough-and-tumble boyness!

  3. i just stopped my 2 yr old from squeezing his infant brothers foot (time out-again!)
    sorry this is off topic-but i'm considering putting my son in nursery school for just socialization-i wrote a blog about and i'd like your opinion if you have the time!

  4. You're not a bad mother. Your 3 year old needs to hang out with my 3 year old and then he would not look so scarred!!! Matt is always sporting some injury or other.
    And, we watched Transformers last night. I enjoyed it!
    Hang in there - I think everything just happens all at once.

  5. You've got to let them explore and learn about the world and make mistakes, and just be there to pick them up and hold them when they do. You're SO not a bad mom.