Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My little piece of heaven

My Belle can read! Seriously! She took Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss down from the bookshelf this morning and sat down and started reading. I hear her adorable little voice saying, "Fox. Socks. Box. Socks Fox." and various other combinations of the words. So cute! Of course I then had to read that and 7 other books to her and her brother. If she thinks the book is boring then she turns the pages too fast to read them (Hop on Pop for example), but if she likes the book she will sit for quite a long time and listen.(Like for this terribly long Thomas the train story, ugh) They are both a bit territorial of me though and there is often some pushing or hair pulling involved in story time. Little girl doing the pulling and my boy doing the yelping.

So I am no longer a hockey mom. I really pushed at the end of last season for them not to play competitive hockey this season. It is such a huge time commitment, every weekend is entirely taken up with hockey, as well as a few weeknights. With taekwondo 3 or 4 times a week, I really didn't see how we could fit in 3 or 4 ice times per kid as well. And it is a flippin' pain dragging toddlers to the arena all the time. We told them it was their decision though, and they both decided not to play. I was surprised, I even said, Are you sure you don't want to play? You really enjoy it." They are sure. And I am sad. I will really miss it. It is so fun to watch them out there and to visit with the parents, meet new people and see familiar faces. So as much as I may have complained, I am now disappointed. But they said they want to try indoor soccer, so that should be fun. I feel a bit bad though, because they have no idea how to play soccer. Every year, by the time the hockey season was over, I was too burnt out to think of putting them in another team sport. So they haven't played at all. My eldest played in kindergarten, that is it. ugh. Oh well, they are not afraid to try new things, that makes my heart swell with pride, cuz I totally am. Getting better as I make myself stretch, but I let fear keep me from a lot over my life. NO MORE though:)

It was our 13th wedding anniversary on Monday! Wow, it feels like a lifetime ago. We were really children, I was only 19 and dh was 20. Now we are in our 30's with 4 children! Our life is not exactly what we imagined it would be when we were fresh-faced college kids with infinite possibilities stretched out in front of us. There have been many disappointments and times of mourning, but overall it is better than imagined. We have come through so many things and come out together, and with some gorgeous little blessings to fill out our home. I still see infinite possibilities stretched out in front of us. I can't wait to show our children the rest of the world, that is my dream and I know we will make it happen.
It is kinda funny, I usually expect a big deal to be made of our anniversary, I always think I want the big gesture, and therefore I am often disappointed. This year I was just really thankful to spend some time with dh, to spend it just enjoying each other's company. He came home from work and we ate dinner with the kids and he put them to bed as I got pretty. And then we just went out to a pub (where we thought there was a band playing, but it ended being football) and had a few drinks. And smiled and flirted and chatted. It was perfect.
I think it felt so good to just do something simple because 2 nights before we had a huge fight. I mean major. A quiet fight, the worst kind, and it was not resolved before we fell asleep. I hate that. I felt so hurt and upset all day Sunday. When we finally went to bed Sunday night, dh apologized and we talked and I cried. And then he sang me the song he sang to me at our wedding. And I balled. And then I felt infinitely better as he held me and soothed me to sleep. So on Monday, I was just feeling thankful for him, and thankful for how he sees me and helps me see myself. I didn't need any grand gesture, I was just grateful to have his time.

This is the song he sang:

If You Could See by Geoff Moore
All of my life I have dreamed
That somehow love would find me.
Now I can't believe you're standing here.
If beauty is all in the eye of the beholder
Then I wish you could see what I see
The love for you that lives in me.
And you would know, you have my heart,
If you could see what I see;
That a treasure's what you are,
If you could see what I see;
Created to be the only one for me;
If you could see what I see
I know there are days when you feel
So much less than ideal
Wondering what I see in you.
It's all of the light and the grace
Your belief in me drives me to say
That promise you a faithful love forever true.
And you would know, you have my heart,
If you could see what I see;
That a treasure's what you are,
If you could see what I see;
Created to be the only one for me;
If you could see then you'd understand
Why I fall down to my knees;
And I pray my love will be worthy of
The One who gave His life so our love could be.
If you could see what I see.
If you could see what I see.
You're created to be the perfect one for me,
If you could see what I see
If beauty is all in the eye of the beholder
Then I am beholding true beauty.

Isn't amazing to have someone look at you that way way? I am so thankful for his love.
this is the card I scrapped for him

2 comments:

  1. my heart just aches and feels so full just by reading your post.

    many hugs

    Yvonne

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  2. Awwww... I'm a little behind in your posts, but congrats on the anniversary - sounds lovely. :)

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