Saturday, June 16, 2007

Rest and renew

My almost 2 year old daughter did something new yesterday. She said, "I yuv you too Mommy!" She has never told me she loves me before, man does that ever do something to my Mother heart. I felt so warm and full of love and joy, she is the sweetest, loveliest, muckiest, mischievous little girl God ever created and I love her to pieces:) She has said, "Luv you, Daddy," before, but never to me, lol.
My weekend away was exactly what I needed. The first night I had dinner (in a restaurant, by myself) and went to my hotel room and just cried. I felt so lonely for my family and just completely burnt out. It took a little while for me to get used to the idea of being by myself, and that I was okay by myself. I thought I was going away to think about things that were happening in my life and what I needed to do and make some important decisions about my future. To pray and seek God's direction. What happened was that I just crashed and vegetated, lol. My mind and body were so burnt out that I drove to the lake and laid on the beach with a 'Shopaholic' novel and just vegetated. I was too tired to think, too tired to cry, my mind and body just wanted to rest. I didn't even read much, too much effort, lol. I walked, I journaled a bit, tried to pray a bit, but mostly I just rested and tried to be quiet and open to anything God might have to say to me.
It was exactly what I needed. Quiet, peace, not being obligated to, or responsible for anyone for a few days. It took a few days once I got home to get back in the swing of life with my family, but I am so thankful to have had the rest. Next time Brent and I are gonna go just the 2 of us, maybe to a spa-get massages, play some golf, just be. Renew and refresh together.

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