I have so much to say. So many embryonic posts in my head just waiting to be birthed. I keep trying to jot down notes so I don't forget things, but most are lost. Of course they are only important to me...
Life is moving so quickly, I can't begin to keep up. It seems my children are growing up at warp speed and I sometimes feel like they are slipping from my fingertips as I grasp for them. My eldest (13 & 11/12) is in the throws of puberty, growing half an inch in a week or two. He is taller than us now, his feet are bigger than his dad's, a size and a half bigger than 2 months ago. His face is changing, but I can still see my sweet little boy there, with his round cheeks and eager smile. His voice is changing and oh. my. goodness. so annoying! I am so anxious for it to settle, because the screeching combined with his exuberance and loudness is grating on my nerves. I want to cover my ears and yell, "SHUT UP!!!" at the top of my lungs sometimes. Am I not a terrible mother?? Somehow I think that the sleeplessness of having an infant, was not meant to mix with pubescent voice changes.
The infant (5 weeks) is also finding his voice. Making tons of sweet sounds, even when hungry, his cries are punctuated with plaintive coos. Love!
Girly (3) is continuing to amuse us with her words. Whenever we question her about something, "Girly, why are you all wet?"
We hear back, "I have NO idea."
Daddy and I have been rolling on the floor laughing at that one. Especially when it comes complete with hands on hips and an exaggerated sigh/hair toss combo at the end.
As for Monkey (4 & 3/4), he is discovering the incredible world of the written word. We are always hearing him pipe up with random words, looking up to see what he is reading now. He will read books over my shoulder, words off the tv or computer screen, signs, cereal boxes, passing t-shirts.
At first he would only read-aloud words he was sure of. But now he is trying more and more new words, no longer upset when someone volunteers the correct pronunciation. I love how his big brothers are cheering him on, they seem to be as much in awe of him as I am.
Even Superboy (11) is exploring with words, he is finding his writing voice and no longer seems so overwhelmed with the writing of his ideas.
As for me, words seem to escape me these days. I start to write and long before I am done, the words run out. My brain turns to mush. I reach for the phone to call a friend and find I have absolutely nothing to say. I just want to go back to my bed with a cup of tea and some quiet and be by myself. I am sure that I will find my words again. I ache to express myself. My hands itch to write. My mouth and ears long for conversations they seem incapable of having. Maybe my words are actually here fighting with my consciousness to come out, because I had no idea what I was writing when I started this.