This blog has always been about becoming the woman God wants me to be. About growth and change and appreciation and gratitude and the hard stuff and the joy. We have been doing the Saddleback church's Transformation study at church; we have been working on the Total Money Makeover, also at church; in my group of home educating friends, we have been working through The Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey; and my doctor had spoken to me in the fall about changing just one thing at a time in my physical health, as well as taking the time to do things that fulfill me as a person. Change is most definitely in the air.
I feel a bit like a cliché. I am almost 39 and looking at my life as a whole and wanting to live more deliberately, squeezing all the joy out that I can and to live beyond fear. But I think those are good things. I have been a stay at home mom for most of the last 20 years. Living out my purpose in my home. It is past time to push myself into being the best version of myself. And it is time to start expanding the boundaries of my life and reaching out to others more.
Anyhoo. One of the things that I am doing for my physical health is the Whole 30 program. 30 days of no sugar, no dairy, no grains or legumes. Just whole, nutrition dense foods. Meat, veg, fruit, seeds and nuts. My husband and I really needed to set the reset button on our food intake. Our sugar addictions were through the roof, we have both put on weight in the last couple years and I have never been so tired in my life. Exhaustion, headaches and muscle pain have been my constant companions for so long that I can't remember life before them.
So I am eliminating all the inflammatory foods, cutting out all sugar to stop the cravings, and hoping to see some change and at least see what foods are irritating me.
I am excited and afraid. Afraid of failure. Can I do this? Afraid of success. What will that mean? That I can't have any of my favourite things any more? Doomed to a life without cheese and chocolate?? I know that is silly. I am just making a choice. A choice to go without certain foods for a period of time, to see how that affects my body, my energy, my mood. The only thing I have to lose is pounds, pain and weariness. I don't HAVE to do anything. I get to choose. When the month is over, I will make more choices. And each day I will choose. What will I eat, how will I move, will I be thankful, will I be joyful? Choices.