Interesting day. I feel crappy. My whole head and face hurt, right down to my freckles. I feel weepy and overwhelmed, like I am not dealing. I really want to eat some sugar and fat. Together. Cookies, brownies, cake, oh my!
It was, in reality, a pretty good day. I finished up the kids school schedule, got it printed and all their assignments ready. (My days go so much better when they know what is expected and they have stuff to keep them busy.) They did their work and were done school by 11 am again. I did kindergarten with Monkey and Girly, pre-writing activities, matching and sorting games, reading. The big brothers played board games with the littles and took them outside to run around. After dinner, we all played a game of cranium cadoo together while Zed cried in my arms. Girly was on my team and she is great at charades!
A good day, but not one I could wholly enjoy. Their laughter and energy hurt my ears and made me feel irritable. Can I admit that I really didn't want to go downstairs and play a board game with them? I wanted to curl up in my bed and watch tv. By myself. But more than that, I wanted my kids to have a happy memory of us all playing together. I love them all to pieces. I want them to have fun and enjoy themselves. But we are all in each other's space all the time. Our house is so teensy for all the people in it. All. The. Time. I am totally praying for a house that fits our needs a bit better. I am so thankful for our home, but some space would be nice.
I need to remember a few things. I need to get out of the house every day. By myself preferably. Even a quick, 15 minute walk would do the trick. I need to remember that Zed is only 2 weeks old, and I can give myself some leeway. Some permission to feel how I do and to take it easy for a bit. I need to take naps and remember to take my iron to build my levels back up. I need to let go and enjoy hanging out with my kids, that is why I do this crazy stay-at-home mom / homeschooling thing. Because I have the most terrific kids and I want to spend time with them.
I am sure there are some things I am forgetting to remember! But that's okay. I am tired, I am allowed to forget stuff. Right?